Practical Happiness Tips: Are We There Yet?

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One day many years ago when our kids were young we finished packing the car, loaded the  kids and soon eased onto the freeway to start an 8-hr drive from Los Angeles, CA  to Yosemite Park for our vacation. Happiness was in store.

Less than one hour into the trip one of the kids started.

“Are we there yet?”

Children aren’t the only ones who are impatient to arrive at a destination. Most of us are so busy anticipating an arrival at a destination or completion of a goal that our minds seem to be absorbed with what we will do and how happy we will be at some future date.

There’s one big problem with this type of thinking, however.

It’s summed up in the joke, “Tomorrow never arrives, because when it gets here it’s today.”

Missing the present.

Here’s another example of missing the present from my book, Color Your Life Happy.

We recently attended the retirement ceremony of
one of my nephews, who served twenty years in the Navy. While enjoying
the delicious food and hospitality on his patio, I asked my daughter,
“How do we get to the freeway from here?” The reception had barely
begun and I had already raced to the future, thinking about our route
home.

Fortunately, my daughter chided me: “Mom, be here and now.”

I snapped back and engaged in conversation and enjoyed the beauty of my
surroundings.

Are we here yet?

Then there’s the other phenomenon of being physically present but not fully present such as in the cartoon above.

It reminds me of my recent first-time experience of a live baseball game.

While attending my oldest grandson’s graduation from Air Force bootcamp we went to a baseball game. I was looking forward to experiencing the game in the open air, watching the action and maybe even eating hot dogs.

What I discovered, however, that the baseball game on the field was the least of what was happening. My grandkids were listening to music on their iPods or playing word games on their Blackberries,  the groups all over the stadium were chattering throughout the whole game, and at frequent intervals there were contests, a webcam zeroing in an unsuspecting couple in the stands, advertisements on the screen and even one advertiser rolling on the field in a cart shooting rolled up t-shirts into the stands.

I caught one.

My goodness!

Occasionally a baseball game was in progress.

Continuing to look ahead or multitask is like spending our entire lives blindfolded or our hands over our ears blocking out the sound or swallowing a  piece of chocolate without it ever touching your tastebuds.

We are missing out on here and now.

And what a loss it is.

I can still remember

  • the awesome feeling of seeing palm trees lining the streets of Los Angeles when I was a new California resident
  • the joy of watching the ground slowly loom closer over London as the plane was landing for my first trip to Europe
  • the huge shot of love in that tiny pillowy palm of my first baby

Wouldn’t it have been a shame to miss these when I was there?  These precious memories always bring me joy, warmth, a smile. They sustain happiness.

Look around you.

What is going on today that you can observe, absorb and enjoy while you are here and now?

More important than the question “Are we there yet?’ is “Are you here now?”

Well, are you?

Practical Happiness Tip: Take One Small Step

Rome2007Whenever you think of making a change in your life, the biggest obstacle is trying to make it in one leap.

Although it’s said that we should think with the end in mind, thinking of it as one step will block your progress and threaten your happiness. You are much more likely to succeed and feel gratified if you can think of one small step, one tiny move that will start your journey. Then take it.

That one small successful step boosts your self-esteem and gives you confidence to take the next one.

On his blog, Work Happy Now, Karl Staib talks about this in his article Loving What You Do is An Ongoing Process when he suggests letting go of a fixed perspective and asking yourself how you can improve by 1%.

Setting out to improve your job, your relationships or your life by just 1% at a time is so much easier to visualize and easy to do. Instead of making you fearful it is encouraging and in line with the way change occurs anyway.

If you’ve ever watched a plant, a child or a project grow, you know that the day-to-day changes are so tiny that they are imperceptible. And yet, you know that little by little they are progressing toward full growth.

Every idea, plan, dream has a first small step. Even if your goal is big one, it still has a small first step. Learn to respect that small step and congratulate yourself for taking it.

What is your big plan, dream, goal?

Whether your goal is getting a job, starting your own business, attracting a life partner, writing a book, traveling or some other wonderful thing, the progress toward it is the same. One small step.

The small step may be just gathering information, completing a phone call or application, talking to someone who is doing what you want to do or making an outline.

The ancient proverb “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” has survived for centuries not because is colorful, but because it is an encouraging reminder of the slow and steady progress it takes to accomplish meaningful and impressive work. (As a matter of fact, when I visited Rome, it was still undergoing construction.)

What one small step can you take toward your change, goal, plan today?

Enjoy the Little Things

Enjoy the little things because one day they’ll be the big things.

When we recall our happy moments of the past it’s often the comments, the touches, the glances so brief that we exchanged with our loved ones that later bring us the deepest joy.

As we were raising our children and grandchildren I took loads of pictures. My husband sometimes became impatient with all the picture-taking, but those passing moments captured in time are priceless.

I used 12 pictures from the tens of thousands of shots from over 40 years and created the following Mother’s Day greeting over at Animoto.

The first one is my mom (now deceased) on the day I picked her up in a limo from her senior apartment as we went out to a Mother’s Day Brunch. It was a huge surprise for her. Thankfully I thought to have a photographer hiding in the bushes to capture her reaction when she realized that the limo was there for her. It was the happiest I had seen her.

You can create and share your own memories for free at Animoto.

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

It's About Time: Learn to Laugh Your Way to Health and Happiness

Laughter and Cake by tompalumbo on flickr

Laughter and Cake by tompalumbo on flickr

In our culture, we spend an enormous amount of money on doctors, medicine and medical treatment.

It’s too bad that many of us haven’t grasped the truth set forth throughout the ages: laughter is the best medicine.

If you don’t believe it, treat yourself to a belly-deep, robust laugh and watch how much better you feel.

Dr. Madan Kataria believes so much in the benefits of laughing that he started Laughter Yoga and Laughter Clubs. Dr. Kataria says that laughter is nature’s stressbuster. To learn about his clubs and conferences, visit his website http://laughteryoga.org.

This week,the Association of Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) is holding its 23rd conference at Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim, CA. The 2010 theme is “Biology of Hope/Healing Power of the Human Spirit”
A Tribute to Norman Cousins.

Norman Cousins, former editor of Saturday Review among many other notable achievements, is well known as author of Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient In it he chronicles his recovery from a life-threatening collagen disease with high doses of vitamin C and daily doses of belly laughter.

At their conference AATH attendees will learn how humor and laughter can improve your health, your productivity, and your ability to learn—and as an added bonus, of course, they have scheduled in loads of fun!

Presenters will include experts in humor, laughter, positive psychology, and psychoneuroimmunology. Stressing the power of humor to transform our careers and lives, are also leading researchers, scholars, speakers, authors, and professionals.

And proof that this field is no joke, attendees can earn graduate credit through the AATH Humor Academy.

There is lots of evidence that laughter reduces blood sugar levels, helps blood vessels function better, reduces pain and enables us to tolerate discomfort. Laughter releases hormones that increase performance, creativity and happiness.

So, along with eating healthy foods and exercising regularly, add daily doses of laughter to ensure a healthier and happier life.

“Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.” Japanese proverb

Get more tips about using your time well here.

Five Ways to Increase Your Happiness and Success

adaToday I received an newsletter from Doug Stevenson of Story Theater International Inc. in which he spells out lessons he learned as an actor that helped him succeed in business. As I was absorbing his key points, it occurred to me that his lessons could apply to life happiness as well.

Based on some of the points shared by Doug I created this list of five ways to increase your life happiness and success.

1. Go after what you want often

Actors who want to work must audition frequently. They actively look for roles and try out countless times facing rejection before landing roles.

Likewise, you have you must try out many ways to reach your goals. If returning to school is your goal, for example, you must get up the courage to seek the right school, apply and once accepted, begin taking classes that offer challenges and much work over perhaps a number of years.

If you tell me that you want to own a restaurant one day, I expect to see you devoting a lot of your time to working in a restaurant, taking classes in culinary skills, restaurant management and networking with other restaurant owners.

If one path to your goal is blocked or inaccessible, continually look for other avenues to your success.

2. Avoid sabotaging your own success.

One of my friends is very skilled at playing the piano and wants to one day play with a band. But she keeps thinking of reasons a career in music might not work out for her. Her fears lead to lack of confidence which leads to hesitance to go after gigs that could move her toward her goal.

Her negative self-talk builds up to a crescendo that sabotages her own success before anyone else gets the chance.

Doug tells in his newsletter about a time when he thought he was wrong for a role. He had to psych himself up for the audition and trust his agent. As it turns out, the director was casting against type. So Doug was right, he wasn’t the type for the role, but he was wrong in assuming that they were looking for the typical.

As you keep exploring your options you will eventually move closer to your success. Are you talking yourself out of going for your goals? Are you rejecting yourself before anyone else has the chance?

3. Respect your role

In every cast, group, family and company there will be many roles. Each role is vital to making the whole work.

When I was writing my book, Color Your Life Happy, I would sometimes to begin to feel intimidated when I looked at all the books on happiness filling the shelves at the bookstore.

“What could my book possibly add to the field?” I lamented to my coach.

He would then remind me that no matter how many books are on the market, no one could tell my message but me. And, somewhere in the world someone was waiting to hear what I had to say about creating happiness, abundance and inner joy. Thus, there even though there are thousands of books, my book had its role and its place.

Regardless of your position in a company you play an important role. Every part in the support system helps to hold up the whole structure.

Recognize that your role, small or big, contributes to the success of the whole. Then give your all to that role. Even if you are in a job that you consider a steppingstone to your dream job, do your best work with enthusiasm and integrity. You are building the foundation for your success.

4. Build your relationships with others in the drama called Your Life.

Be careful not to view the people you pass on your path to success as collateral damage. Build relationships with the coworkers and others you meet. Some will be in your life for a short time, never to be seen again.

Others will become colleagues, partners or leads in other projects and endeavors.

You won’t necessarily be drawn into close friendships with everyone you meet, but be kind and cooperate when working together.

5. Show up for the performance.

Woody Allen said “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

Show up in your life by actively going after your goals, attending events that interest you and getting engaged with activities that inspire and encourage you.

If you have an idea, try it out. If it fails or doesn’t work out, try something else.

Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything. He was fired from his first two jobs for being non-productive. As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.

When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Think of the sun as the spotlights on your stage of life awaiting your arrival each morning. You can’t be sure how you will be received by the world, but you can ensure your own happiness and success by showing up and giving your best performance.