Want to Be Happier? Get a Pair of Rose-Colored Glasses

Photo by D Sharon Pruitt from Flickr

Photo by D Sharon Pruitt from Flickr

More than once, I’ve been accused of seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

Seeing the world through rose-colored glasses means you have a positive outlook on life, even when circumstances don’t seem to warrant it. It frequently implies that the wearer of said glasses is gullible, even a Pollyanna type—which is contrary to the spirit intended in the book by Eleanor H. Porter, on which the term is based—a naive person who is overly optimistic, oblivious to the seriousness or danger in a situation.

What’s wrong with rose-colored glasses?

If we’re coloring our lives happy, then we should all keep a pair handy!

What’s wrong with being optimistic, with seeing the good in others and being able to visualize a good outcome? If we think about it, we’d realize there’s not much benefit in taking a negative view—also known as worrying. We’d realize that we stand to gain more by looking for the best in any situation or thinking ahead to a better time.

There’s a story about a man who, after breaking his leg, ended up in the hospital. He was miserable—convinced he was the victim of bad luck. But one of his nurses was a wonderful woman. They fell in love and later married. This convinced him that breaking his leg was a case of good luck, since it enabled him to meet his wife.

You can look at almost every situation in at least two ways. It’s best to find a way to view even bad situations in the most positive way you can muster, not because it will change the situation or outcome, but because it will change your attitude and increase your chances of survival, triumph and happiness.

Can Faking it Bring You Happiness?

maskWe’ve been told that we can make ourselves happy and joyful by “faking” it until it becomes real.

A recent study published in Psychological Science found just the opposite to be true, at least when it comes to wearing fake designer sunglasses.

People wear fake designer items to build their self-esteem and appear affluent. This study showed that people wearing fake designer sunglasses not only feel less authentic but also influenced their judgment of other people’s unethical behavior.

The researchers, Gino, Norton, and Ariely, conducted four experiments in which participants wore purportedly fake or authentically branded sunglasses. The subjects who were wearing fake sunglasses cheated more across multiple tasks than those wearing authentic sunglasses, leading to the conclusion that the costs of counterfeits was deception.

Of course taking steps to make yourself feel happier is not quite the same as wearing fake sunglasses to give yourself status.

Those who support positive thinking believe that you can increase your happiness by repeating positive affirmations with conviction until you convince your own subconscious.

Positive psychology studies have found that there are many things we can do to increase our own happiness. Some of these are expressing gratitude, focusing on what is going on now rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, and staying connected with supportive family and friends.

Then there are those in the mental health field who believe that repeating positive affirmations or focusing on the good in our lives, only delays us from confronting the imbalances that are causing us to be unhappy or depressed. They believe that our time would be better spent in receiving therapy or taking medication to correct the chemical imbalances.

Spiritual healers believe that our outer experience is determined by our inner beliefs, thoughts and vibrations. No matter what we do on the outside, we can’t fool our insides. They believe that everything is energy. Whatever we send out into the world in the form of energy is what we attract back to us. So, if we want to improve the outcomes in our lives we have to increase the energy vibrations we are sending out.

Throughout history we’ve been told we can alter our mood by putting on a happy face, singing in the rain and whistling in the dark.

Are we faking it when we are being proactive in creating and maintaining happiness?

What is your take on this?

Three Ways You May Be Blocking Your Happiness

yosemite_fallsNo one would knowingly block her happiness, and yet we do so frequently because we don’t realize the connection between some of our actions and our happiness.

There are three ways you may be blocking your happiness.

1. Looking outside of yourself for solutions

When you get a headache you probably seek out an aspirin or other pain reliever. Most of us do, and we are even advised to do so by doctors.

But solutions to our problems must be solved from within where they began. When we are experiencing problems they are most likely connected to our beliefs, which lead us to behave a certain way.

By taking responsibility for our problems we are able to solve them. When we blame others or outside circumstances for our problems, we are giving the power to fix them over to someone else.

2. Keeping too busy

Do you know someone who works two or three jobs, takes classes, has an active social life and attends church, all while chauffering their children to school and the children’s activities as well?

Keeping so busy that you allow no time for being quiet, reflecting, or meditating is guaranteed to lead you to overwhelm, a breakdown or definitely negligence of issues you need to confront.

Busyness can just cover up the fact that you may not be paying attention to deeper needs which can lead to stress.

Having an active life contributes to your happiness as long as you balance your activities with moments of quiet, allowing a chance for you to reflect and listen to your intuition.

3. Ignoring warning signs

When we took our children to Yosemite Park many years ago, we enjoyed the many wonders of nature on walks, boat rides and horseback rides. At one of the smaller waterfalls visitors could get close to enjoy the cool breeze and sprinkles made by the water crashing against the rocks. But there was a prominent sign warning visitors not to climb on the rocks under the fall.

You can guess it. Kids and young adults were gleefully splashing in the very area we were warned about, without any regard for the sign.

Fortunately, no tragedies occurred while we were there, but it reminded me of how often we ignore warning signs in life and are surprised at the unwanted outcomes.

Happiness grows from within and is fostered by taking responsibility for your beliefs and actions.

Want to Be Happier? Challenge Yourself

ultimateblogMany of us want to be happier, to experience more joy and fulfillment, and yet muddle around day after day in the same routine.

It’s certainly comforting having a schedule and structure to your life. But if you never step outside of it, vary it or stretch it, then you are likely to begin to feel trapped, lose momentum or worse, experience the “blahs.”

Even doing some of the things you enjoy can result in a slump without a kick to keep your engines revved up. After all, as humans, we are most energized and sparked when we are challenged, when we have a goal toward which we’re working.

When I began this blog it was a big boost to enter a blog challenge because it motivated me to write a blog post every day for 30 days. By continuing that momentum I had over a hundred posts in a few months. When I realized how much I had written, I decided to use those posts as the foundation of my book, Color Your Life Happy: Create the Abundance, Success and Inner Joy You Deserve.

During another challenge I wrote 25 articles in ten days before the last days of the year. It was exhilirating to push myself to get those articles done and posted.

Now I’ve just joined another blog challenge, the Ultimate Blog Challenge, that begins today.

If you are a blogger and want to give your blog a boost, why not join us. Here are the top five reasons others have joined.

#5 – Set an example for their clients!
#4 – Create a daily habit!
#3 – Reading other peoples posts!
#2 – Make connections (Interact) with other amazing people!
#1 – ACCOUNTABILITY

Come back tomorrow to check out my next post.

They Told You What?

Today’s post is a guest post by A. Michelle Blakeley, small business expert from Simply Mastered and radio host of Simple Truths for Women Entrepreneurs
Originally published Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 8:50AM

counselor--300x200As entrepreneurs, it is impossible to have all the answers and sometimes we need a little assurance that we are moving in the right direction. You are often encouraged to seek outside help, support and guidance. Professional counsel, a colleague or close friend can be fantastic resource.

However, the caveat is that sometimes the advice you receive is not sage. Despite your need for guidance, sometimes you sense that what you are being told is flawed or just doesn’t sit right. When you seek the guidance of outside counsel, stay alert to your intuition, do your own due diligence and make sure they are providing you with an objective perspective and not “tainted glasses.”

Some savvy entrepreneurs shared some of their worst business advice with us and a lesson or two that can be learned along with it:

“If you build it, they will come.” Meaning just because your product or service is better, that does not determine the success of your business. How often have we seen or heard of great products, but the business failed to get off the ground? (J.Kaney, www.kaneyaerospace.com)

Lesson: The organization and development of your business is more important than the product or service you are selling.

“You need to have a downtown office.” Since I started my business four years ago, I’ve worked from home and I am glad I didn’t take this advice. Using extremely conservative numbers, I’ve saved at least $25,000 in this Internet-driven era. (D. Clark, www.dorieclark.com)

Lesson: It is unlikely your client will questioned your credibility because you choose not to spend money on an expensive “corporate headquarters.”

“Just do what you are passionate about and everything will fall into place.” While I do believe that being passionate about what I am doing is important and makes focusing on my business more enjoyable, without clearly defined goals, ways to reach them and giving all areas of business equal attention (even the areas I’m not passionate about), I know I wouldn’t have succeeded. (K. Gutierrez, www.assistantmatch.com)

Lesson: Passion is great, but you still need to a plan and the appropriate skills, systems, mindset and resources in place to ensure all areas of business are functioning properly.

“Don’t attend tradeshows” where I normally sold my handbag line and to book appointments in my NYC showroom instead. (S. Shaw, www.entreprenette.com)

Lesson: You always want to be where you have direct access to your target market and potential clients. Sometimes this can cost you and sometimes it can “cost” you.

“A DVD broker who told me that I should purchase 5000 copies of the program instead of printing on demand because the price was about two thirds less if I purchased the bundle.” (B. Michaelian, www.brittmichaelian.com)

Lesson: Before you buy 5000 of anything, you have to make sure that you know your ideal client, that your product will solve one of their biggest pains, that you have a clear marketing strategy to get the word out about your product and that there is a high level of demand for the product that you want to sell!

“Never compliment any of your people for doing a good job. If you do, they’ll get soft and lazy.” You’ll lose your authority over them. (B. Lampton, www.thecompletecommunicator.com)

Lesson: The work environment you cultivate will have a direct effect on your client service. Pride of ownership goes a long way with employees, staff and even sub-contractors and independent contractors.

“Not to worry about the future and things will take care of themselves when I want to sell my business.” (A. Bettencourt, www.exitplanpros.com)

Lesson: The worst thing a business owner can do is to not have an exit plan. Document your systems, so in case of an emergency, someone can help minimize your business down time. For solopreneurs/micro business owners, remember, even your database has value. Don’t just close your doors, take a close look at your assets and inventory for value to competitors and others. Also, give your clients notice before closing your doors and transition them to referrals whenever possible.

“Never give up; never listen to what others tell you.” (M. Nguyen, www.myartplot.com)

Lesson: If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. Although that is true, when things are not happening correctly or when perspectives change, the idea to give up should be used to examine strategy and then define the situation. Don’t listen emotionally – but rather, listen analytically. Be prepared to objectively analyze your business …often.

“If I cut my fees in half I could double my client base.” Somehow working twice as hard for the same revenues didn’t really appeal to me.

(D. Furtwengler, www.furtwengler.com)

Lesson: Enough said.

“Sign a personal guarantee on the half million dollar company bank loan. If we go bankrupt and the bank tries to collect, you will pay pennies on the dollar.” Well, the bubble burst and $375,000 later plus over $25k in legal fees was not pennies on the dollar in my book! (G. Fernandez, www.babygoespro.com)

Lesson: Whenever you feel or sense apprehension, that’s a flag. Pay attention to that flag and trust your own intuition. Due diligence is an essential skill for business owners.

“Give up and be an employee. Being an entrepreneur was “too risky”.” (S. Raisty-Egami, www.sureproductconsulting.com My compensation and “job security” are now completely determined by the real value I bring to clients, and not by the shifting winds of office politics at a “big company” employer.

Lesson: Yes, being a business owner is not for everyone. However, for those who have the right mindset, capacity, tenacity and determination, entrepreneurship can be extremely rewarding emotionally and financially.

“Hire a high powered publicist” to help get my book the national coverage it needed. The decision to follow that advice has done wonders to get my publicist in front of the media where she was suppose to be taking me! (A. Zindler, www.homeofficemommy.com)

Lesson
: Do your homework on those you welcome into your fold. Know what their motivation is to help you further your goals.

“Don’t focus on quality of performance…we all provide that. Focus on customer relations.” That firm eventually became the largest CPA firm bankruptcy in history, until it was recently surpassed by Arthur Anderson. Fortunately, I had the wisdom to leave before that. (J. Lerer, www.officezoneusa.com)

Lesson: Great product/service AND great client service go hand-in-hand. One simply cannot function without the other. They are interdependent on each other.

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For over 18 years, Simplicity Mastered™ founder and CEO A. Michelle Blakeley has owned or managed small businesses and nonprofit organizations. Expert in her field, Blakeley personally guides her clients out of their Business Brain Freeze™ to streamline operations, increase return on investment, and attain quantifiable results. Forbes.com and FinancialPost.com each recommended her as one of 30 Women Entrepreneurs to Follow on Twitter, joining the experts who know that Blakeley is a master at growing small businesses … and doing it with “Simplicity.”
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