Happiness Archives - Page 20 of 40 - Color Your Life Happy

Another Thing Happy People Do

Photo by blmurch

I recently asked my customers to answer a few questions about their experiences with my book, Color Your Life Happy. Here are responses that customer Renee Gailey, was kind enough to share:

What motivated you to make your first purchase?
I was feeling overwhelmed and very much wanted to get to overjoyed! I also joined the meetup for that reason.

What is your favorite feature of my book?

My favorite is the everyday language that you use and the stories to illustrate your points. Real life examples helped me to understand and also to know I was not alone in this situation.

What life lesson or change have you made as a result of reading my book or receiving my coaching?

I have made several changes. One, I have learned that when I am feeling overwhelmed I am looking at too much of the “picture” at one time and need to break it down into smaller “steps” or sections. Focus on the step you are working on and maybe the next step just to keep yourself on track. I have also learned that no goal no matter how outrageous, is achievable.

Who seems the ideal kind of person to benefit from my book?

Actually anyone who is struggling with their goals or with just handling life. The organization, coping, and “curing” tips are invaluable to them all.

Renee is referring to some of the points I made in Chapter Four. Here’s an excerpt from pages 79-80

If you’re like many people, then you may have trouble visualizing a big dream. Even if you aspire to becoming a millionaire, owning a beachfront villa, running a successful business, or traveling the world, you may not be able to see it just yet.

No amount of mental calisthenics can help you reach goals if you can’t visualize or believe you can achieve them. So why not set small, reachable goals that move you toward your big goals?

Approach it the way you eat a steak (sorry vegetarians, but work with me here). There’s no doubt you can finish that sizzling steak on your plate, but you wouldn’t try to get the whole thing down in one bite and gulp.

There’s an old joke: “How do you eat an elephant?”

Answer: One bite at a time.

Instead of frustrating yourself with the fact that some goals take time, think about what you can do today and tomorrow that will move you an inch toward that goal.

I spent years longing to travel to Europe, for example. I would browse travel magazines, read travel books and watch travel shows. My friends patiently listened to my daydreams until one of them hit me with a key question: “Do you have a passport?”

All those years of longing to travel abroad, wishing I could save enough money for a trip, and I hadn’t even taken the VERY FIRST step to foreign travel—getting a passport.

Getting a passport was very much within my reach. Post offices and libraries make passports accessible. I didn’t have to know where I was going to travel to apply. As a matter of fact, I discovered, it was less stressful to obtain my passport before making any travel plans, while I was in no rush to receive it.

If I didn’t have the money to buy my passport immediately, smaller steps would have been finding out where to apply and picking up an application. Even just discovering the passport fee is an important small step.

The Chinese proverb is right. “A trip of 1,000 miles begins with one step.”

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Filed Under: baby steps, Happiness Tagged With: accomplishing major goals, time management

One Thing Happy People Do

By Flora Leave a Comment

From flickr

I recently asked my customers to answer a few questions about their experiences with my book, Color Your Life Happy. Here are responses that customer Billie Horowitz, was kind enough to share:

What motivated you to purchase Color Your Life Happy?

I have been on a journey to a more fulfilling life for a very long time and the title of your book has been inspirational. Each book I read brings me closer to understanding myself.

What life lesson have you learned or change have you made as a result of reading my book?

Your book has reinforced my belief that I am on the right path to the experiences I want to experience.

Who seems to the ideal kind of person to benefit from my book?

Those who are looking for “Who Am I” and have not quite figured out it’s an inside job!

What is your favorite feature of my book?

My favorite feature is Chapter Five “Simplifying Life” Page 110 -111. This story is a perfect example of allowing other people [to] dictate what life is best for you when you already have what you want or need.

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Here is the story Billie refers to from Chapter 5 of Color Your Life Happy. It is similar in spirit to the philosophy of the Chinese philosopher, Chuang Tzu.

An American tourist stood at the pier of a small coastal Mexican
village and watched as a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The tourist
complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his catch
and asked how long it had taken to catch them.

The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

The tourist asked, “Then why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

The Mexican said, “With this, I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”

The tourist asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The tourist scoffed.

“ I can help you. You should spend more time fishing and use the proceeds to buy a bigger boat.

With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats.

Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you could sell directly to the processor and open your own cannery. Then you would control the product, processing and distribution.

You could leave this small village and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles and eventually to New York, where you
could run your ever-expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this take?”

The tourist replied, “Fifteen to twenty years.”

“But what then?” asked the Mexican.

The tourist laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich – you would make millions.”

“Millions? Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Happy people appreciate and embrace the simple things of life.

Like the American tourist in the story, do you long for a simpler life, but believe you can only have it in some distant future?

The truth is, of course, that you can have it now.

Maybe you already do.

Filed Under: enjoying simple things, Happiness Tagged With: appreciation, creating happiness, enjoying simple things

3 Things I Learned in College That Help Me Embrace Happiness

By Flora Leave a Comment

Photo by chrisfutcher from flickr

Successfully completing college has benefits that reach far beyond my degrees and have helped me embrace happiness.

Here are three of them.

Accepting things as they are

Just as I had to take required courses to complete a given degree, life serves up experiences that I don’t exactly prefer, but seem to show up anyway. Since I can’t control circumstances outside of my sphere, I find aspects of the experience that tie in with my goals and about which I can develop interest.

Recently I had to visit the Social Security office to get clarification about Medicare, for example. I knew that I may have a long wait, so I took my laptop so I could work on projects while I was there. Other times, I may take a book or decide to engage in people-watching to get ideas for my blog.

When I approach an anticipated long wait or meeting with the expectation that it will be productive for me, things always go well and quickly. I spare myself the stress and frustration by accepting and preparing for the situation.

Appreciating and managing the precious gift of time

Managing time well was one of the keys to my success in college, especially in graduate school when I had a family to manage as well.

College courses are conveniently chopped into quarters and semesters, structured by professors and punctuated with tests and projects. It has always been helpful for me to chop my time into chunks as well and keep a calendar and to-do lists to help propel me along the way.

Just as professors assign work, I assign myself tasks to complete, and take them just as seriously as I did my college work.

My purse-sized month-at-a glance calendar is still my favorite, but I’m beginning to use my Google calendar more and more to keep track of appointments and events. Because it syncs with my phone, I get reminders of events and milestones, as well as have the option of getting driving directions if I’ve entered the address in the details.

In addition, I keep a spiral notebook or legal pad nearby at all times, even during business and personal phone calls. That ensures that I will note anything I need to remember and later act upon.

In college, I found that starting on an assignment the day it was given made it so much easier to return to it later and finish it on time.

Likewise, responding quickly to email and phone calls has been very useful because it lessens the chance that I will forget. (Even with a to-do list forgetting an item can happen)

One of the most important entries on my calendar is Pamper Day, usually Wednesdays. That’s when I indulge in self-care such as going to the hairstylist, manicurist or masseuse. In addition, I make time almost weekly for lunch with friends or networking with fellow entrepreneurs.

When you treat yourself well you are also showing the Universe how you want to be treated. It can’t help but respond in kind.

Long ago I learned to schedule fun and relaxation time just as seriously as I do all my other activities so that I get the rejuvenation to keep me feeling joyful and fulfilled. (I just booked my New Years’ Eve excursion. What are you doing New Year’s Eve?)

Committing to projects and relationships wholeheartedly

Completing college required a firm commitment that held fast over many years. Fully engaging and committing to other activities in my life has brought success and deep satisfaction.

Whether it was raising my four children, helping raise my three grandchildren, inflating balloons for the church picnic, writing my dissertation, making kitchen curtains, planting tomatoes, hosting my weekly radio show or chauffeuring a friend to the doctor, I do it with gusto and full commitment.

Just as there were times when I dropped a class in college, there are times, of course, when an activity conflicts with my goals or needs to be postponed for a future date. That’s when I say “no” to the activity and “yes” to myself. That way I’m free to carry out the remaining projects without distraction.

Accepting things as they are, appreciating and managing the precious gift of time and committing to projects and relationships wholeheartedly have put me in the driver’s seat of my life where I embrace happiness during this trip called life. I encourage you to do the same.

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: accepting things as they are, committing fully, creating happiness, time management

Want to Be Happier? Be Thankful for What You Have

By Flora Leave a Comment

It’s a common habit for us to want what we don’t have and want more of what we do? It’s the topic of our conversations, and it’s what advertisers count on to increase their profits.

And yet, when we get our last desire, we are still not satisfied.

When my oldest daughter was in elementary school, she wanted to have straight hair like one of her Anglo classmates. Her classmate’s mom disclosed to me that her daughter came home asking her to curl up and twist her hair like my daughter’s.

If we continue in this manner, always wanting what we don’t have, there’s a real danger that we won’t appreciate and enjoy what we do have. The tragedy of that is we miss out on our own happiness, sometimes working ourselves into an unfortunate unhappiness, depression, or disorder.

When I saw Nick Vijucic on the following video, I felt ashamed for ever having neglected to be grateful for all my blessings. I bet you’ll feel the same way when you watch it.

Filed Under: gratitude, Happiness Tagged With: creating happiness, gratitude, Making choices

Want Happier Relationships? Stop Waving and Start Holding Hands

By Flora Leave a Comment

From redjar.org from Flickr

On June 30th I attended the first Social Media Day celebration at the Orange County Register offices in Santa Ana, CA. This day was set in motion by blogger extraordinaire, Pete Cashmore and founder of Mashable.

The goal of Social Media Day as stated on Mashable:

. . .we acknowledge and celebrate the revolution of media becoming social. A day that honors the technological and societal advancements that have allowed us to have a dialogue, to connect and to engage not only the creators of media, but perhaps more importantly, one another.

It’s a day to celebrate the changes in media that have empowered us to stay connected to information in real time, the tools that have enabled us to communicate from miles apart, and the platforms that have given a voice to the voiceless and victims of protest injustice.

While I’m a big fan of social media and have enjoyed meeting so many friends from around the world through it, it’s important to not just meet people, but to connect. That’s not as likely to happen with thousands at one time, but it is possible to connect with one person at a time.

Meeting people and exchanging emails, Twitter handles and Facebook IDs, is like waving. Waving gets your attention and establishes the first point of contact.

Connecting on a deeper level is like holding hands and is much more satisfying and leads to happier relationships.

How do you move from waving to holding hands?

1. Learn about the other person.

Social media makes this very easy. Just check their Facebook wall and tweets. Follow the links to their websites and blogs, sign up for their newsletters and start to understand their activities, business endeavors and goals.

While some people favor keeping personal and business separated, there are benefits to discovering the family person behind a business or public persona. You will better appreciate their perspective on life when they disclose some of their family interactions, challenges and triumphs.

As you get to know more about the people you have met through social media and other means, you will discover some share your interests, some are very interesting and some send out a strong positive vibration.

2. Engage with the people who interest you.

When you resonate with the people you meet, respond to their posts and emails with your reactions and comments to their thoughts.

Going beyond that, actively share with them information, ideas, opportunities and sources you believe will interest them.

This morning, for example, I just sent links to sites that I thought would interest my friends who are involved in marketing their books. Almost everyday I share links, tips and resources that I believe would help or interest a friend.

3. Connect in person over time.

I’m a member of Couchsurfing.com that connects travelers and the communities they live in. When one of our members from India announced last year that he would be in the Pacific Northwest visiting his daughter, the members in that region planned a party to celebrate his visit.

I flew to Seattle, WA and joined about 30 other Couchsurfers from around the world to welcome him and get to know each other face to face after years of corresponding on message boards online. We not only had a pajama party complete with delicious food and a movie, but we extended our fun by sightseeing over the next few days in Seattle area.

You don’t have to travel across country or even across the state, of course, to connect with people. You can make lunch, museum or movie dates with folks you’ve met who live in your city. Even chatting by phone brings a closer connection.

Major chain restaurants and coffee shops encourage these meet-ups by making you feel comfortable to stay and chat. Since they have liberal hours, you can schedule a breakfast, lunch or evening get-together.

Your goal is to get together to share interests and experiences. That requires a lot of listening on your part and patience to attend to what you are learning.

I’m not advocating that you create a string of romantic relationships, although that’s your choice. I’m suggesting building strong, rich and happier personal and business relationships initiated by mutual interests, developed by quality engaged time and eventually cemented by trust and admiration.

So what are you waiting for?

Stop waving and start holding hands.

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: building relationhips, creating happier relationships, listening, social media, spending quality time