Archives for August 2010

5 Ways to Be Happier That You Can Start Today

happygirlYou’ve heard it many times. Happiness is not a destination, but a journey along the way of life. What exactly must we do on this trip that results in happiness?

There are five ways to be happier that you can start today.

1. Eat right

Consult a room full of experts and you’ll never get agreement on what is “right” for us to eat. Most people think of healthy eating as a way to lose weight. That is certainly a worthy goal, but healthy eating is more important as a powerful connection to our happiness as well.

How so?

The food and beverages we consume are processed into various forms by the organs of our bodies. Our liver, for example, the largest organ in the body, has the important job of converting our food into useful substances we need for life and growth and neutralizing toxins and wastes.

The liver works fastest and best with real food. Processed and fake foods, loaded with chemicals and preservatives, make the liver work much harder than it should. It’s like asking one employee to do the work of two or more.

You don’t have to be a medical expert to know that overtaxing the liver can only lead to impairing and damaging it. When that happens, we can’t digest our food properly nor get rid of wastes in a timely manner. Even though the liver has the amazing ability to repair itself, there is a limit to how much it can repeat this.

I’m not recommending that you launch into a diet. Who wants to diet? It has the word “die” in it.

What I’m suggesting is that you pay attention to your body. It will tell you which foods and beverages are right for you.  Consult your medical adviser and resources to begin your search for what’s right for your body.

Start slow. Change one thing. Replace one “not-so-good” food choice with a better choice.

Practice portion control. Instead of letting your eyes be your guide, use the amount of food that will fill the palm of your hand instead.

Eat a rainbow each day. That is, choose fruits and vegetables of different colors.

When you discover the combinations of food that are best for your body you will notice that you have more energy, sleep better and best of all, your mood and spirit will be uplifted.  When you eat right, you feel good, and that contributes a big part to your happiness.

2. Get some exercise

You can consult fitness experts, charts and programs to get suggestions, but the best source is your body and mind.

When I was working on my book, Color Your Life Happy, after hours of writing I would sometimes hit a wall. I couldn’t think anymore and my body was craving activity. I would leave the house for at least a walk around the block. I found it helpful to start the morning with at least 20 minutes working with an exercise video and later expanded into daily one hours walks with a neighbor.

If you are blessed to have physical mobility, move your body in whatever exercise seems right and safe for you. Many everyday activities such as housework, walking the stairs to get to your office, parking further away from the entrance to the mall can all contribute to your physical activity.

To get excellent advice, tips, cool tools, recipes, community support, as well as fitness, weigh-in and nutrition trackers, join the free website Spark People, your companion for a healthy lifestyle. There is encouragement and guidance for everyone, plus incentives to keep you motivated.

In a recent article on Spark People, Dodge the Exercise Roller Coaster, Mike Kramer says

You can stay off the coaster and get into consistency. All it takes is a little planning–and a lot of fun. The key is to build an exercise program that’s not stale, boring or disruptive. Now–while you still have momentum–is the perfect time to set up some smart, convenient systems and motivating reminders.

Here are three things Mike recommends:

  • combining exercise with other goals such as exercising during commercials or while watching a TV movie
  • taking exercise out of the gym by gardening or having a walking meeting
  • creating an in-home 20 minutes a day workout
  • What does exercise have to do with happiness?

    You know the drugs that doctors prescribe for depression and anxiety?

    Your body makes those chemicals naturally when you exercise, but without the side effects.

    Add to that deep-breathing and meditation and you have just discovered your own mood-enhancers available to you any time you want.

    3. Connect with a higher power

    People who describe themselves as happy report that they believe in a higher power, a higher source.  There are many names given to this higher power and while organized religion claims to have a special connection to this power, I’m referring to a spiritual connection that is  available to all and is our source of intuition, creativity, insight, and hope.

    When we tap into this spiritual connection daily we receive assurance that the workaday concerns that present themselves to us can be resolved. This comforts us and enables us to move through life without being undone by the ups and downs that we all encounter.

    How do you access your spiritual source?

    Quieting your mind and thoughts is the simplest way to get started. If you’ve never tried to sit still for ten minutes without thinking of anything, you’ll be surprised at first at how challenging it is. It takes practice to accomplish this. But it’s worth the practice because you’ll find that meditating can be very beneficial.

    Extending quiet time into meditation brings not only comfort, but also sparks creativity and reveals solutions that elude you during your busy activities.

    Prayer works for many people throughout the world. Some pray to the deity of their religion; others pray to the Universe, the Universal Mind or a Higher Power.

    Tapping your spiritual source is powerful because you’re acknowledging there is a power greater than you in this universe and you’re recognizing your connection to it.

    Many people attend religious or spiritual services regularly as a way to stay in touch with their spiritual source, while also connecting with others who share their beliefs.

    Some people find help in communing with nature on walks, runs and retreats. One author created a sanctuary in his backyard where he could go to be still and meditate. But you don’t have to build anything if you don’t want to—many man-made and natural sanctuaries already exist for your use.

    Some find solace in Nature, others in beautiful music and dance.

    Music is called the universal language because it has the power to speak to all of us—regardless of our native tongue. It can lift us to unheard-of heights and some say it is the only language that can reach the traumatized and brain-damaged.

    Beautiful music seems to flow through the fingers of a skilled pianist out onto the piano, creating visceral excitement; at other times it calms us, brings tears or bridges barriers across nations.

    Art is another path to spirituality. Michelangelo’s passion for creating sculpture was deep and profound. He saw himself not as creating art, but rather as releasing a human form trapped in the marble. His famous David, though created in 1501 when Michelangelo was only twenty-six, still has the power to mesmerize those fortunate enough to view it in person.

    Once you’re in tune with your spiritual source, you’ll discover it’s not just a ritual, it’s a welcome part of your life. Spirituality even helps out with mundane challenges such as finding a parking space or finding those lost glasses or keys. Being in tune with your spirituality relieves stress and brings solutions.

    4. Pursue your passion

    If you’ve ever watched a dancer, singer, or craftsman performing with passion, you can remember how they get so lost in joy of doing what they love that the audience seemed to disappear to them.

    By contrast, people who hate their jobs, look forward to Mondays with dread and sometimes develop physical symptoms as well because they are not living their passion, but are torturing themselves in exchange for a paycheck.

    Pursuing your passion ensures you joy, not because it always makes you lots of money, but because it gives you a deep contentment and fulfillment that money cannot buy.

    Teaching is one of my passions. Sharing information, encouraging, and helping others see their own brilliance gives me so much joy that I get a tingle in the back of my neck when I see that they get it.  I’ve taught all of my life with and without pay.

    Find your passion by asking yourself what you enjoy so much that you would do it for free. What puts a smile on your face? What brings out your creativity and absorbs your attention for so long that hours pass before you know it?

    Is there something inside you that you are burning to do?  Is there something you just must try it even if others don’t see the benefit or payoff? You aren’t even concerned so much with failure, but with having never tried it.

    What things to you talk to your friends about when you swap daydreams? Ask your friends to share what they think is your passion based on what you talk about.

    Perhaps there is something you find so easy that you can’t believe that others can’t get it.

    Finding your passion doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve found your life purpose.  And your passion may not be your source of income. That is something else.

    I’m not recommending that you drop your day job just yet to pursue your passion as a career, although that may be what you ultimately decide to do. There is nothing noble about starving or being homeless.

    What I am urging you to do is to tap into your passion. Find that something that makes your heart sing, that fills you up with joy and contentment.  When you find and enjoy your passion, many annoyances of the world will pass by you unnoticed or as minor occurrences.

    When you find your passion you will no longer be willing to tolerate a job you don’t enjoy, but will be attracted to one that celebrates you.

    When you find your passion you will no longer be willing to accept less than good treatment from those around you.

    Finding your passion makes embracing happiness easy.

    5. Express gratitude

    Saying thank you to others, yourself and God is one of the deepest and profound ways to open yourself to happiness.

    Express gratitude out loud, in writing, and mentally not only for the good things you’ve experienced, but also for the bad.

    Yes, the bad things have shaped our lives as much or more so than the good so we must be thankful for them as well.

    For example, I am very thankful that I didn’t get hired by the first community college to which I applied many years ago. I was teaching at a university at the time and the hiring committee thought I wouldn’t be able to relate to their students.  Because I didn’t get this job I started my own tutoring program which I successfully operated for eight years.

    Another example.

    I am also very thankful to my youngest sister who when she got frustrated with me for getting too heavy-handed in helping her raise her kids told me one day, “Get your own damn kids!”

    Wow! She was right. I was single at the time and too distracted with meddling in her childrearing that I was not focused on my own personal life. Thanks to her I turned my attention to getting married and starting my own family.  And what fun I had with every phase of my children’s lives. My husband and I raised four beautiful children who are now adults, plus I have the world’s most gorgeous grandchildren.

    I sometimes pause to think how miserable my life could have become as the old-maid aunt offering too much advice and help to my nieces and nephews. By being thankful for the jolt from my sister that turned me around, I bear no hurt toward my sister and was able to move into being her caregiver when I was needed.

    I’m very grateful to my children for still loving me in spite of the mistakes, miscalculations and misunderstandings committed in the name of childrearing.

    Be grateful for the large and the small. Sometimes we rejoice over the large sums or money or opportunities, but we must rejoice over the small as well and it will increase.

    When my feet hit the floor each day I say “Thank you God” and  “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

    I also say “Thank you God” when I find my keys, lost glasses or a misplaced check.

    Finally, be thankful to your former selves that have brought you to this place and this life.

    I’m grateful to my elementary-school self who loved school and reading and immediately fell in love with her teachers and teaching.

    I’m also grateful to my college self who didn’t want to waste my mother’s money so I used my study time wisely.

    Gratitude keeps you in the positive mode, puts the so-called negative in perspective, and  draws more of what you really want. By being thankful for the bad you let go of resentment and hurt. By being thankful for the everyday and small you avoid taking for granted that which you once didn’t have and could so easily lose.

    By eating right, exercising, connecting with a higher power, pursuing your passion and expressing gratitude you are ensured of being unified with happiness.

    Celebrating Color Your Life Happy Day

    This makes me happy--BillieH. . .there was a time in my life that I said “me on a motorcycle….forget about it! Now I hop on every change I get and love to buy those cute Harley clothing!!!

    The only requirement is you have to ride one too…..(smile)

    This is what my friend and subscriber, Billie, shared about how she celebrated Color Your Life Happy Day.

    Since I firmly believe that every day is a “new year” for each of us, and that we shouldn’t end one day without bringing joy to our lives, I decided to create Color Your Life Happy Day.

    I selected my mother’s birthday, August 9th, as the appropriate date.

    Thus this special celebration was created to encourage you to do something that makes you happy and also to honor the memory of my mother, Mildred S. Morris, who would have turned 100 years old this year. (She passed at age 92 in 2002.) She spent her life making people happy with her music. She played piano and organ from childhood through her mid 80’s for many churches, organizations and events. Everyone who ever heard her play was touched by her lively and fervent style.

    Here is how my friend and subscriber, Nakia, celebrated.

    Nakia's favorite book+In the midst of this crazy and hectic thing I call life, I’m getting back to the basics of a little self-indulgence- reading. And not only reading, but reading my all time favorite genre of fiction- Murder Mysteries!!!  After one year of being in OC, I finally made it down to the library and got my library card a cpl of weeks ago. Navigating through the library and learning of all of its amenities and services offered was just as exhilirating as the reading itself! Some days, I feel like curling up with a good book and drowning out all the noise in life. And I plan on having days like this from now on. You can say I’ve found a new lease on life and that I’ll be “Coloring My Life Happy” 🙂 Thanks for allowing me to share!

    How about you?

    You don’t have to wait for Color Your Life Happy Day to roll around again. You can begin right now by adding something that brings you joy each day. It doesn’t have to be something big by anyone else’s standards. Just be sure you choose what brings you joy, a smile, a laugh and a warm feeling of contentment.

    Another Thing Happy People Do

    Photo by blmurch

    Photo by blmurch

    I recently asked my customers to answer a few questions about their experiences with my book, Color Your Life Happy. Here are responses that customer Renee Gailey, was kind enough to share:

    What motivated you to make your first purchase?

    I was feeling overwhelmed and very much wanted to get to overjoyed! I also joined the meetup for that reason.

    What is your favorite feature of my book?

    My favorite is the everyday language that you use and the stories to illustrate your points. Real life examples helped me to understand and also to know I was not alone in this situation.

    What life lesson or change have you made as a result of reading my book or receiving my coaching?

    I have made several changes. One, I have learned that when I am feeling overwhelmed I am looking at too much of the “picture” at one time and need to break it down into smaller “steps” or sections. Focus on the step you are working on and maybe the next step just to keep yourself on track. I have also learned that no goal no matter how outrageous, is achievable.

     

    Who seems the ideal kind of person to benefit from my book?

    Actually anyone who is struggling with their goals or with just handling life. The organization, coping, and “curing” tips are invaluable to them all.

    Renee is referring to some of the points I made in Chapter Four.  Here’s an excerpt from pages 79-80

    If you’re like many people, then you may have trouble visualizing a big dream. Even if you aspire to becoming a millionaire, owning a beachfront villa, running a successful business, or traveling the world, you may not be able to see it just yet.

    No amount of mental calisthenics can help you reach goals if you can’t visualize or believe you can achieve them. So why not set small, reachable goals that move you toward your big goals?

    Approach it the way you eat a steak (sorry vegetarians, but work with me here). There’s no doubt you can finish that sizzling steak on your plate, but you wouldn’t try to get the whole thing down in one bite and gulp.

    There’s an old joke: “How do you eat an elephant?”

    Answer: One bite at a time.

    Instead of frustrating yourself with the fact that some goals take time, think about what you can do today and tomorrow that will move you an inch toward that goal.

    I spent years longing to travel to Europe, for example. I would browse travel magazines, read travel books and watch travel shows. My friends patiently listened to my daydreams until one of them hit me with a key question: “Do you have a passport?”

    All those years of longing to travel abroad, wishing I could save enough money for a trip, and I hadn’t even taken the VERY FIRST step to foreign travel—getting a passport.

    Getting a passport was very much within my reach. Post offices and libraries make passports accessible. I didn’t have to know where I was going to travel to apply. As a matter of fact, I discovered, it was less stressful to obtain my passport before making any travel plans, while I was in no rush to receive it.

    If I didn’t have the money to buy my passport immediately, smaller steps would have been finding out where to apply and picking up an application. Even just discovering the passport fee is an important small step.

    The Chinese proverb is right. “A trip of 1,000 miles begins with one step.”

    If you enjoyed this article, click here to subscribe to our newsletter and get a free download of our popular ebook, “It’s About Time: Managing Your Life to Create the Happy Life You Deserve.”

    One Thing Happy People Do

    From flickr

    From flickr

    I recently asked my customers to answer a few questions about their experiences with my book, Color Your Life Happy. Here are responses that customer Billie Horowitz, was kind enough to share:

    What motivated you to purchase Color Your Life Happy?

    I have been on a journey to a more fulfilling life for a very long time and the title of your book has been inspirational. Each book I read brings me closer to understanding myself.


    What life lesson have you learned or change have you made as a result of reading my book?

    Your book has reinforced my belief that I am on the right path to the experiences I want to experience.


    Who seems to the ideal kind of person to benefit from my book?

    Those who are looking for “Who Am I” and have not quite figured out it’s an inside job!


    What is your favorite feature of my book?

    My favorite feature is Chapter Five “Simplifying Life” Page 110 -111. This story is a perfect example of allowing other people [to] dictate what life is best for you when you already have what you want or need.

    =========

    Here is the story Billie refers to from Chapter 5 of Color Your Life Happy. It is similar in spirit to the philosophy of the Chinese philosopher, Chuang Tzu.

    An American tourist stood at the pier of a small coastal Mexican
    village and watched as a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

    Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The tourist
    complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his catch
    and asked how long it had taken to catch them.

    The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

    The tourist asked, “Then why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

    The Mexican said, “With this, I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”

    The tourist asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

    The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

    The tourist scoffed.

    “ I can help you. You should spend more time fishing and use the proceeds to buy a bigger boat.

    With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats.

    Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you could sell directly to the processor and open your own cannery. Then you would control the product, processing and distribution.

    You could leave this small village and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles and eventually to New York, where you
    could run your ever-expanding enterprise.”

    The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this take?”

    The tourist replied, “Fifteen to twenty years.”

    “But what then?” asked the Mexican.

    The tourist laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich – you would make millions.”

    “Millions? Then what?”

    The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

    Happy people appreciate and embrace the simple things of life.

    Like the American tourist in the story, do you long for a simpler life, but believe you can only have it in some distant future?

    The truth is, of course, that you can have it now.

    Maybe you already do.

    3 Things I Learned in College That Help Me Embrace Happiness

    Photo by chrisfutcher from flickr

    Photo by chrisfutcher from flickr

    Successfully completing college has benefits that reach far beyond my degrees and have helped me embrace happiness.

    Here are three of them.

    Accepting things as they are

    Just as I had to take required courses to complete a given degree, life serves up experiences that I don’t exactly prefer, but seem to show up anyway. Since I can’t control circumstances outside of my sphere, I find aspects of the experience that tie in with my goals and about which I can develop interest.

    Recently I had to visit the Social Security office to get clarification about Medicare, for example. I knew that I may have a long wait, so I took my laptop so I could work on projects while I was there. Other times, I may take a book or decide to engage in people-watching to get ideas for my blog.

    When I approach an anticipated long wait or meeting with the expectation that it will be productive for me, things always go well and quickly. I spare myself the stress and frustration by accepting and preparing for the situation.

    Appreciating and managing the precious gift of time

    Managing time well was one of the keys to my success in college, especially in graduate school when I had a family to manage as well.

    College courses are conveniently chopped into quarters and semesters, structured by professors and punctuated with tests and projects. It has always been helpful for me to chop my time into chunks as well and keep a calendar and to-do lists to help propel me along the way.

    Just as professors assign work, I assign myself tasks to complete, and take them just as seriously as I did my college work.

    My purse-sized month-at-a glance calendar is still my favorite, but I’m beginning to use my Google calendar more and more to keep track of appointments and events. Because it syncs with my phone, I get reminders of events and milestones, as well as have the option of getting driving directions if I’ve entered the address in the details.

    In addition, I keep a spiral notebook or legal pad nearby at all times, even during business and personal phone calls. That ensures that I will note anything I need to remember and later act upon.

    In college, I found that starting on an assignment the day it was given made it so much easier to return to it later and finish it on time.

    Likewise, responding quickly to email and phone calls has been very useful because it lessens the chance that I will forget. (Even with a to-do list forgetting an item can happen)

    One of the most important entries on my calendar is Pamper Day, usually Wednesdays. That’s when I indulge in self-care such as going to the hairstylist, manicurist or masseuse. In addition, I make time almost weekly for lunch with friends or networking with fellow entrepreneurs.

    When you treat yourself well you are also showing the Universe how you want to be treated. It can’t help but respond in kind.

    Long ago I learned to schedule fun and relaxation time just as seriously as I do all my other activities so that I get the rejuvenation to keep me feeling joyful and fulfilled. (I just booked my New Years’ Eve excursion. What are you doing New Year’s Eve?)

    Committing to projects and relationships wholeheartedly

    Completing college required a firm commitment that held fast over many years. Fully engaging and committing to other activities in my life has brought success and deep satisfaction.

    Whether it was raising my four children, helping raise my three grandchildren, inflating balloons for the church picnic, writing my dissertation, making kitchen curtains, planting tomatoes, hosting my weekly radio show or chauffeuring a friend to the doctor, I do it with gusto and full commitment.

    Just as there were times when I dropped a class in college, there are times, of course, when an activity conflicts with my goals or needs to be postponed for a future date. That’s when I say “no” to the activity and “yes” to myself. That way I’m free to carry out the remaining projects without distraction.

    Accepting things as they are, appreciating and managing the precious gift of time and committing to projects and relationships wholeheartedly have put me in the driver’s seat of my life where I embrace happiness during this trip called life. I encourage you to do the same.