3 Ways Wayne Dyer Changed the Way I Look at Things

waynedyerYesterday  a friend called to share how she had been inspired and empowered by watching Wayne Dyer on Super Soul Sunday. It made me reflect on what he has meant to my life.

It was only  later in the day I got the news he had made his transition.  I began to think back to how specific words he has shared in his books and personal appearances have expanded my mind and lead to the life I enjoy today. These are just three of them in no particular order.

 

1. To a No-Limits person, winning is an internal process.

I was always competitive. I was eager to win first place whether it was reading the most books in the summer reading program or raising the most money in the church fundraiser. When I didn’t reach these goals I’d feel deflated. When I won, I felt victorious. Yay! I wasn’t a loser.

When I learned that winning is an internal process, it took the pressure off and helps me stop judging my success by the world’s index.

I get to practice this regularly, like when I signed up recently for an art class in a process new to me called Zentangle.  The other seven students had experience with the process and some of them created amazingly beautiful and mesmerizing designs.  As a newcomer to this process, my lines and circles were unsteady and hesitant making me feel I was at the bottom of the class. By the 2nd class, tears of defeat, unworthiness, and incompetence welled up when the teacher asked us to show what we had created for homework.  I wanted to quit.

Fortunately, I was able to pull myself back by recalling that I was once a beginner at every skill I’ve mastered in this life, beginning with learning to talk, walk, and read. If I’ve mastered other skills, I could master this technique too, if chose to. Most important, I realized that I was a winner just for setting a goal and showing up to the class willing to learn and open to the teacher’s suggestions on improving my technique. I took control of my attitude and inner feelings about my experience. Yay! I was a winner without anyone needing to be a loser!

2. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.

The prayers of the adults during my childhood always seemed like begging for favors from a Santa Claus in the sky. They were specific about what they wanted but felt unworthy to receive it. Some even felt selfish or guilty for asking for a better life. All the time they often focused on their current situation, not how they wanted them to be.

Each achievement in my life seemed far away when I first imagined it but I decided I deserved them:  enjoying a teaching career,  having a family, operating a tutoring program, earning a PhD, writing a book, moving to a new home, travelling the world and more.

When people ask for details on how I accomplished any of these, I can’t give them the typical specifics. Because of what I’ve learned from Dyer over many years, the journey to all of my accomplishments start with a deep desire. I  imagine how I will feel and even see myself in these scenes.  What a relief to learn that whatever I wanted already existed. I didn’t have to create it, I just had to attract it. Like a little kid who wants a bicycle so desperately that he can think of nothing else day and night, I visualize not the actions I needed to take, but how I would feel when each of these manifested in the material world.

As small clues pop up, I follow them.

For example, I always aspired to earn a PhD even as a kid when a mentor told me it was the highest degree you could earn (I told you I was competitive.)

By the time I was at the educational level to go after a PhD, however, I didn’t have the funds nor time to do gymnastic classes, science workshops, church activities, and more.  Only a delusional person would try to fit in academic studies into that mix!

Still, when I learned of the availability of full-time doctoral grants, I applied. I completed the long application process and waited for four months only to receive a rejection letter. I was disappointed, but I decided that this grant must not be the route the universe intended. I’d keep a look out for another path.

A month after having received the rejection letter, I received another letter from the grant foundation now offering me a grant. What? A number of the selected recipients had declined to accept the grants, opening up a slot for me, if I wanted it. Wow! It  seemed like magic, but I knew it was because I let the universe work out the details. Now the universe just needed to work out the details of how I would manage all this.

3. Don’t die with your music still in you.

This idea has been so powerful in my life that it has become a guiding principle. Once I understood my happiness is my choice, it became easier to make decisions about which goals  I would pursue.

Like anyone else, I’ve sometimes hesitated to take a step that seemed scary according to the world’s standards. But when I recall my imperative to live my own life, I’ve been able to move ahead. Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming book, Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, about one of those times.

The year before I retired from my teaching career, I was considering teaching for a little longer. I had been teaching at Fullerton College close to twenty years; and while that may seem like a substantial amount of time, it wouldn’t give me full retirement. I would have to teach a total of thirty years or more to reach a retirement income nearly equivalent to my salary.

During the summer of 2006, I decided to have some home remodeling done while I had ample equity in the home and so the changes would be in place when I retired. It was one of the hottest summers on record for Southern California. Then—wouldn’t you know it?—my home air conditioner broke down. The repair service was backed up with orders and wouldn’t get to me for more than a week. So for more than a week, I endured the heat all day while work crews were in and out of my house doing the remodeling. It was worse at night, when it seemed to get hotter. I got so hot it was impossible for me to get cool. I didn’t learn until later that I had suffered heat stroke.

Just when I felt better and the remodeling was complete, I returned to the fall semester, still not sure whether it would be my last year. My doctor had been urging me to get a colonoscopy ever since I had turned fifty, but I had neglected to do so until that fall. I made an appointment, did all the body-cleansing prep, and went to have the colonoscopy, accompanied by my youngest daughter.

After I regained consciousness, the doctor told me she had removed three polyps from my colon, one of which was cancerous. Although the polyps had been removed, my doctor suggested that I should consider colon surgery to ensure that the cancer had not penetrated my colon wall.

It was then, after my heat stroke and the possibility of colon surgery, that it became clear to me: I was going to retire right now and get busy doing things I had put off for retirement. I decided to forgo surgery and improve my eating habits and lifestyle instead.

Even though I had traveled and already done many things in my life, many things remained on my list. Postponing these things in an effort to ensure that I had a few more dollars in my retirement fund seemed ludicrous. I chose to live, love, and play more.

So I retired in May 2007 and immediately traveled to two places I had long wanted to see: China and Italy. I took several domestic trips as well. After gallivanting around the globe a bit, starting new websites and blogs, I also began writing [the first edition of] this book.

We are blessed that Wayne Dyer did not leave us with his song, dream, and books inside him. They are now part of our lives, empowering and inspiring us to live the lives we came to live. More important, Dyer insisted that we each have the power to inspire others. By living our own authentic lives we are doing just that. What better way to honor his legacy.

Tell  me in the comments how Wayne Dyer impacted your life.

Article by Flora Brown

How Will You Celebrate Color Your Life Happy Day on August 9th?

ColorYourLifeHappy.com

My mom was really surprised when I picked her up in a limo for a Mother’s Day Brunch one year.

 

Did you begin the year making resolutions?

If you stuck to them, it’s probably because you

        • kept your goals small and achievable
        • asked friends to help you stay on track by holding you accountable
        • changed your environment to support your new behavior.

Regardless of how you fared in this annual practice, here’s an opportunity to start anew, but with just one resolution.

What is Color Your Life Happy Day?

On August 9th join me in celebrating “Color Your Life Happy Day”, a day to participate in something you enjoy, some activity that will make
you happy and others too. Then make a decision to make it a habit to continue finding joy, pleasure, a way to help others for the rest of the year.

Happiness is not a destination, but the things we do along the way as we live our lives. At the end of their lives, many wish they had slowed down, worked less and spent more time enjoying family, friends and fun activities. Don’t let this be you.

Regrets are a waste. Do the things that bring you joy and happiness everyday.

The Origin of Color Your Life Happy Day

This special celebration was inspired by the memory of my mother, Mildred S. Morris, who would have turned 105 years old this year on August 9, 2015 (she passed at age 92 in 2002.) She was a hairstylist by trade, but spent her life making people happy with her music. She played piano and organ from childhood through her mid 80’s for many churches, organizations and events. Everyone who ever heard her play was touched by her lively and fervent style.

How to Participate?

Please join me in celebrating Color Your Life Happy Day on August 9th.

You may choose to enjoy a simple pleasure such as taking time off to read a neglected book. You may join the courageous who use this day to get control of the clutter that has been making them very unhappy. Or maybe you’ll rent a Harley or Segway to go for a fun ride. How about becoming a tourist in your own town and visit a museum or other local treasure you’ve never seen? A local convalescent home would likely welcome you to spend some time with a resident who never gets visitors.

Get busy thinking of how you will celebrate Color Your Life Happy Day. Then on August 9th take a picture showing how you celebrated. Remember, it doesn’t have to be grand or spectacular by anyone else’s standards. It just has to be something that makes you happy. Email it to me at flora@florabrown.com with your name, activity, and city/state/country.  Or use the  hashtag #coloryourlifehappy to post it on Instagram or Twitter. I will post entries on my blog, Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/coloryourlifehappy and my Pinterest page.

I’m looking forward to the wonderful array of celebrations.

By the way, if you got the awesome custom t-shirt  in June,  Color Your Life Happy Day would be a good day to wear it.  If you missed it, no worries.You can still order the beautiful t-shirt at http://teespring.com/color-your-life-happy-t-shirt  that complements my upcoming book, Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve (August 2015)


It’s available in sizes small through 5XL and three
other colors: gold, lime and white.

What a great way to support the right to happiness
we all deserve.

This is a Limited Edition custom shirt. The original campaign ended in June, but you can still get one. Just go to http://teespring.com/color-your-life-happy-t-shirt and click I still want one!

The suggested retail price is $29.99, but I’ve discounted it when you buy it now at
http://teespring.com/color-your-life-happy-t-shirt

Consider buying an extra one for a gift and be sure to tell your friends, family and colleagues on social media to join us. Again, the link is http://teespring.com/color-your-life-happy-t-shirt

Tell me in the comments how you plan to spend Color Your Life Happy Day on August 9th.

Choose Happiness Even If It’s Raining Crap and You Can’t See the Sun

happypeople--resized-cropped copy

Everywhere you look there seems to be upset, conflict and events that threaten your peace of mind and happiness.

How can you remain upbeat and content under such circumstances?

Research, such as that done by David T. Lykken, noted geneticist, famous for the Minnesota Twin Study and author of Happiness: The Nature and Nurture of Joy and Contentment, discovered that about half of your sense of satisfaction with your life stems from your genetic makeup.

Your mother was right

Yep. Your mother was right, at least in part, when she said you’re just like your father.

But what of the remaining half?

According to Lykken, eight percent can be attributed to circumstances in your life such as your upbringing, education, marital status and income.

The remaining forty percent is a reflection of your attitude and the choices you make.

There is good news

In other words, you have control over a huge chunk of your happiness.

“Happiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. … Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part.” Bertrand Russell

The happiness that emerges from the research is not that giddiness that comes over you while skipping through the meadow.  It’s the well-being and sense of satisfaction you create as a by-product of your choice of thoughts and outward actions.

Happy people have their share of troubles, problems and heartbreak. What sets them apart and enables them to enjoy happiness are the choices they make.

Dance teacher, Adrianne Haslet-Davis, 32, suffered the unimaginable loss of her left leg in the April 15, 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. But three weeks later, on May 1, 2013 she appeared on the TV show, Dancing with the Stars, did ballet stretches and vowed to dance again, according to this Sun article.  Although the host and several of the contestants were in tears, it was clear that Adrianne has made a positive choice in the face of a personal tragedy.

Viktor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, is best known as a Holocaust survivor who showed us by example that even though we cannot control all circumstances, we can choose our attitude toward what happens to us. His book, The Search for Meaning, chronicles his experiences as an inmate in a concentration camp. He discovered that the inmates with the best chance of surviving those horrible situations were the ones who found a reason to live.

In this 22 minute interview, Frankl explains how having a meaning to live brings about happiness.


From a large body of research conducted by psychologists such as Martin Seligman, Jon Haidt, Edward Diener, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Sonja Lyumborisky,  people who describe themselves as happy

  • Engage in meaningful work
  • Believe in a higher power
  • Trust their ability to overcome adversity
  • Express gratitude
  • Build on their strengths
  • Discover their weaknesses and get help for them
  • Surround themselves with nurturing relationships
  • Restrict the amount of television and news they watch
  • Eat healthy diets
  • Get physical exercise
  • Feed their minds with uplifting and enriching thoughts
  • Avoid brooding over their mistakes and failures
  • Focus on the present and what they can do here and now

Everyday-Happiness-Cards-FrontBack

Happy people use tools and strategies

Most of all, happy people identify tools and strategies to restore balance, harmony and positive feelings.where-is-happiness-set

To encourage you to awaken the power within you to create a life of mindfulness, meaning, gratitude and joy,  I created Everyday Happiness, a set of inspirational cards designed as gentle reminders to take and keep control of your happiness.

Add these cards to your happiness arsenal and consult them daily for inspiration. Each card presents a cartoon on one side and words of advice or inspiration on the reverse side. Read through all the cards, noting which ones resonate with you. Or pick a card at random, letting that message speak to you.

The cartoons and messages are based on my book, Color Your Life Happy: Create the Success, Abundance and Inner Joy You Deserve, available in paperback and Kindle versions.

Once you get your own deck of cards, you’ll want to get them as gifts for the folks you care about in your life.

If this sounds exciting to you, grab your Everyday Happiness cards at http://florabrown.com/products-classes/everyday-happiness-cards now.

 

Make Your Feet Happy and the Rest of You Will Follow

happysocks“It takes a lot of confidence to wear those socks!” remarked a fellow customer at the beauty shop.

I laughed, “Not necessarily. Wearing these socks makes my feet happy. And when my feet are happy I feel good all over.”

Of course I realize that to some extent she was right. It did take confidence, or maybe just a lack of concern about what people think.

Part of this is hereditary.

My mother lived to be 92 and she certainly was concerned with doing the “right” thing in many ways, except fashion. She wore patterned nylons that went in and out of style at least twice over the years. When I see my youngest daughter wearing those patterned nylons, leggings, tights, I chuckle with delight.

So many people worry about what other people will think about what they wear and what they do, that it does take some confidence to do what you want without concern for others.

But I also see wearing my “happy” socks as an announcement to the Universe: these socks make me smile, put pep in my step and make me happy, whether anyone else likes it or not.

Being happy is about finding joy in simple things.

What simple thing makes you happy?

Remember that poem that starts “When I get old I shall wear purple?”

You don’t have to wait until you are old?

Wear happy socks or a wild tie or whatever makes you feel good all over.

My happy socks don’t have any magical power. They aren’t even expensive. They were $1 at one of my favorite stores. Their power is what my mind gives them and I give them a lot.

So, if you aren’t ready to embrace happiness all over, maybe you could just make your feet (or hands, or head,or other part) happy for now.

How about it?

If you liked this idea, you’ll love my inspirational cards, Everyday Happiness. Learn about them at http://florabrown.com/products-classes/everyday-happiness-cards/