Can You Savor Your Sixties and Plan for Death at the Same Time?

Photo by everestyogatrek from flickr

Photo by everestyogatrek from flickr

I recently discovered an inspiring blog,  Savoring Your Sixties , by Bonnie McFarland. At the end of her free ebook, “Loving Your 60’s: 6 Tips to Start Now,” she asked readers to share their concerns. Here’s what I wrote.


Hi Bonnie,

I just learned about your site and book recently and just finished the ebook.

I enjoyed it and plan to blog about it soon.

In the meantime, I want to respond to one of your questions about what is challenging in my sixties.  I have created a full, busy and satisfying life, although I’m always reading and exploring deeper.

The one thing I can’t seem to settle on is whether I want to be buried or cremated when I die.  When my mother died at age 92 she had prepaid for her funeral and burial decades before, and boy! did that make it a lot easier to carry out her funeral.

The only thing she didn’t specify or pay for were the flowers.

She had chosen the songs she wanted, but the people she had designated to sing at her funeral had all preceded her in death.

But still, she had done so much planning that the inevitable disagreements that would have ensued among me and my siblings were averted.

I would like to make it easy for my kids to take care of my remains.

On the one hand, I favor cremation and tossing the ashes somewhere because I don’t want them feeling guilty about not visiting my grave on Mother’s Day and all the other days that folks think you should  visit graves.

I wouldn’t want my ashes sitting on some mantle in an urn either. They eventually get knocked over and have to be swept up and tossed in the evening garbage anyway.

Besides, going to a funeral of someone who has been cremated is a snap for the well-wishers. No following that long procession of cars from the church to a cemetery that is always in another city, then making your way back to the church of home of the family to partake of the repast.

But burning seems so harsh.

On the other hand, burial doesn’t sound much better. Since I can only think of myself as live, I see burial as suffocation.

But then, paying for a casket and burial plot just doesn’t make as much sense as it used to. Cremation is definitely cheaper.

To complicate my decision, I love crime dramas. Every now and then a body that’s about to be cremated or embalmed is discovered to still be alive.  Yikes!

I could leave all these decisions to my four adult kids after I die, but they have trouble agreeing on almost everything. So, I feel compelled to make this decision myself, and soon.

What to do! What to do!

Blessings, Flora


No matter what your age, have you planned your funeral or pondered how you want your body handled after death?