Waiting my turn at a quaint coffee shop in San Diego recently, I listened as customers ordered breakfast:
“Breakfast quiche,” said one customer.
“I’ll have the ham and cheese croissant,” said the next customer.
Following each food order the clerk asked “Do you want that for here or to go?”
Over and over he asked the same question, “Do you want that for here or to go?”
That’s when it hit me. We answer that question everyday when we make decisions about our lives.
Each time we make choices we decide if we want to pursue this or that goal or do we want to delay for some future time.
The problem with pushing our goals into the future is that we can push them so far that we run out of time, at least in this lifetime.
Of course if you believe in reincarnation you have another shot, but let’s deal with one lifetime at a time, shall we.
Here are three ways to get your happiness here and now.
1. Give yourself permission.
We are often our worst enemies since we stage a war with ourselves in our heads. If you find yourself hesitating to start toward a goal, you are afraid of success or failure. You are definitely concerned about whether you deserve the wonderful things you imagine. You are worried about what other people think or waiting for approval from others before you start.
We all want the best for those we love. So learn to love yourself. Then give this amazing person called “you” permission to do, be, and embrace whatever makes you happy.
2. Find out what you really want.
This may sound simple on the surface, but discovering what we want requires research and exploration. We often judge what we want by the fun others seem to having with it.
You may think, for example, that you would enjoy living in a tranquil environment in the woods, off the main road miles away from the nearest shopping center and surrounded by nature. Before you pull up your city roots, give this tranquil life a test drive in the form of a vacation, a visit or a short stay. While this living style may be very appealing from the comfort of a movie theater seat, it may not be what you really would enjoy in its entirety.
3. Gather the resources to help you reach your goals.
Once you decide what you really want, it’s time to line up the people, information and tasks that will help you achieve your goal. When I decided to write my book, Color Your Life Happy, here are a few steps that helped me reach my goal:
- Read or heavily skimmed the major books, articles and blogs in the happiness field
- Bought a laptop
- Attended a one-day Positive Psychology conference to learn from researchers what findings they had discovered
- Hired a life coach
- Hired a publishing coach
- Changed my main workspace to my living picture window where I could get light.
- Visited the library and bookstores sometimes to browse, sometimes to write in a different environment
- Set up a writing schedule
- Attended a publishing institute where I met other authors actively involved in the writing process
- Joined Toastmasters to work on speaking skills
- Joined an Internet marketing group to learn more about promoting my book
- Made notes on my experiences and observations on vacations and trips away from home
No one of these tasks got my book done. Each one played a part in the ideas, motivation, writing, publishing and marketing.
It’s certainly up to you whether you want your happiness now or for another lifetime. Try the steps I shared if you want happiness for here.
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