Tips, advice, and reflections on living your best life
Professor Srikumar Rao, creator of popular graduate course Creativity and Personal Mastery, says that anything you think you can get to make you happy is something you also can “unget.” His view is that happiness is hard-wired into us and therefore there is nothing we need to get, do or be to be happy.
Listen to what he has to say. Then share your reactions.
People who are having difficulty reaching goals labor under one big misconception. They believe that successful people move in one straight line from the inception of an idea to success.
On the contrary, successful people have strong beliefs that get them started, help them face difficulties and keep them going until they reach their goals.
Here are five of those beliefs.
1. I am worthy of success and deserve the best.
Successful people are able to go after what they want in life because they believe they deserve it. Your subconscious believes whatever you program into it and helps you get what you want. Trying to go after a goal you don’t believe you deserve is like driving west in an effort to go east.
2. I believe in my ability to handle whatever comes up.
Problems, adversities and challenges come up in everyone’s life. It is the belief that you can figure out a solution that is important.
3. There is a lesson I can learn from this failure
Many believe that failures are lessons designed to help us. When things don’t go your way, it’s helpful to reflect on what can use from the experience for the future.
4. I am responsible for my own life.
While we all can benefit from help from friends, colleagues and relatives, we must recognize that it’s the choices we make that create the lives we want. Choosing what advice and paths to take is the most important of all.
5. I believe the sun will come out tomorrow.
This line from the musical Annie expresses how positive people feel. No matter what hard times they encounter, they believe that by continuing to move toward their goals, they will be successful.
I was working on my laptop at Borders Bookstore recently when a father came in with his daughter, who looked to be about 10 years old, and the son, about 6. They sat down at the table next to me and pulled out their homework.
Before they started their homework, the dad asked if they wanted anything to eat or drink. What a question to ask kids!
The daughter wanted one of those large oatmeal cookies with cranberries. Her dad went over to the counter, bought the cookies and placed it in front of her.
I tried to maintain focus on my work. I always buy a cup of coffee to sip while I work, but fight off the urge to buy the sweets. My resolve was weakening.
Little Miss Cookie Eater broke off a piece of cookie and studied it before she lifted it to her mouth. A little nibble, a little nibble, and then pop! the whole piece went in her mouth. She chewed it slowly savoring every cranberry and crumb.
Why couldn’t she just devour that whole cookie so I could get back to my work?
She took so long eating that cookie because she was clearly prolonging it and getting delight from every bite.
You can guess the end of the story.
After the kids finished reviewing their spelling words, they left with their dad, but visions, smells and crunching memories lingered. When I couldn’t stand it any more I rushed over to the counter and ordered my own cookie.
“An oatmeal cookie with cranberries. Heated please.” I said to the clerk.
When I returned to my seat with my wonderful purchase, I thought about how much children enjoy food and activities they love. They use every sense to experience what they eat and what they do.
So take a lesson from children. Next time, don’t just chomp into that shiny red apple or the tight crisp green one, for example.
Study it first. Turn it over and look at the many shades of color on it. Run your hand over the smooth finish. After you have become acquainted with the apple, bite into it slowly. Listen to the sound it makes when your teeth puncture the skin and pull off your first bite. Feel the splash and trickle of juice.
Slowing down to engage all your senses, to capture the joy and full pleasure from your experiences, cultivates happiness in your life.
Shortly after birth of my third child, my son, in 1975
When my children were young our family life revolved around their care, school work, and extracurricular activities. During that season of my life my husband and I had jobs, but our children were at the center of our planning. It was our childrearing season.
Here is what I shared in Chapter 6 in my book, “Color Your Life Happy: Create the Success, Abundance and Inner Joy You Deserve.”
about balancing family and work
Once committed and in tune with your spiritual source you will attract into your life the many things, people and circumstances that will make your intention manifest.
When my husband and I were raising our children, their concerns and needs were at the center of our planning.
When we remodeled our kitchen, for example, I wanted a work island even though our kitchen wasn’t quite big enough to give the preferred clearance according to the designer. But while he was just designing a meal preparation and eating center, I was also designing a homework and project center.
On week nights it was a wonderful spot for all four of the children to gather and complete their homework assignments and craft projects. On weekends it became the family cooking center. Sundays after church we’d experiment with new recipes that I found in the local and weekly newspapers. Each child helped do the chopping, grating, measuring and pouring. One of those recipes was such a hit with us that decades later it is still our favorite dish.
I successfully completed the season of childrearing and have enjoyed a number of other seasons since.
Your life,too, goes in seasons. It’s important to throw your energy and efforts into the season in which you are currently living rather than fighting against it.
Resist the temptation to look back to a season that has passed or forward to one whose time has not come. Be fully in the season you are in.
Perhaps you are in your spring preparation season where you are attending college, trade school or completing an internship. Open yourself to all the benefits of this season to create a firm foundation for upcoming seasons where you will enjoy the full bloom of summer.
Or perhaps you are in a wintry transition season between the end of a job, a relationship or death of a loved one and the start of a new way of life for you. Examine what you need to remove from your environment and what you need to gather to expedite the growth. Be patient with yourself as you grieve the loss, and know that the new growth that is not yet visible is forming and preparing to emerge to a full harvest.
To curse the season you are in is not productive. It makes you feel stuck and resentful. The worse part is you miss the beauty of that season and its potential for happiness. Notice the season you are in and flow with it.
Posing with Uni and Joungmin on my patio
1. Be curious
Stay open to new ideas by reading and listening to inspirational, entertaining and informative material. There is much material available to you online, in your local library and many other places.
One such place to spark new ideas is Springwise This company has 80,000 spotters around the globe looking for inspirational ideas for entrepreneurs. Maybe one of this ideas will spark a new venture in your mind.
2. Be sociable
Get off the Internet for a while and hang out with other people near you who share your interests and are engaged in activities you enjoy. One place to start is Meetup.com, the world’s largest network of local groups. Search for groups in your interest area and locale, or start one if you wish. I belong to several Meetups in my area and assisted my daughter in starting one.
3. Be giving
Donate to charities and agencies in need of aid, but also give of yourself. It feeds your happiness and spreads it to others. One way that some are giving of themselves is through couchsurfing.org, the largest hospitality exchange network in the world. Through CouchSurfing travelers make connections with others in the local communities they visit. You may participate by meeting a visitor for coffee when they are in your town or host them if you wish. The photo above shows a couple who stayed with us for three days on their long road trip from Canada back to their home in South Korea.
4. Be positive.
It is said that we have about 70,000 thoughts per day. If it is true that we attract what we think about, then we must selective about the thoughts that permeate our minds all day.
The thoughts in your mind won’t control circumstances outside of you, they just determine how you react to and are affected by those circumstances.
One way I stay positive is to talk to other positive people, listen to motivational and inspirational audio and live programs, and most of all, begin and end each day with positive affirmations and prayer. For weekly tips that will help you stay focused on positive, be sure to subscribe to the Color Your Life Happy Newsletter.
5. Be proactive.
Insist on doing things you enjoy. Don’t get so caught up in working that you neglect engaging in what you find enjoyable.
Be resourceful and creative about it. If you enjoy gardening, for example, but seem to be short on time once you arrive home, then bring live plants into your office or workplace. An added benefit according to some studies is that live plants help purify the air, create soothing effects and help reduce work stress.
Using these ideas daily will help feed and maintain your happiness.
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