Tool for Happiness: Make Someone's Day

writing-by-candlelight--photo by skippyjon via flickr

writing-by-candlelight--photo by skippyjon via flickr

Isn’t it interesting that even people who don’t like to send letters, admit that they love receiving them?

Letting someone know that they have made a difference in your life makes their day and adds to your happiness.

No matter how much sending email and text messages have become the common mode of communication, nothing delivers the feeling and emotional impact like a handwritten personal letter or card.

When my children were young they grumbled when I insisted that they send handwritten thank you notes for every Christmas and birthday gift they received. From the way they moaned and whined, you’d think they’d grow up hating to send thank you notes.

On the contrary, as adults they now even send thank you’s to each member of the interview committee following job interviews.

Send someone a handwritten letter today. If you don’t have stationery, a plain sheet of paper or page from a spiral notebook will do. A blank card is a great choice since it gives you structure but also freedom.

The pen you choose won’t matter to the recipient, but it will matter to you. So, choose a pen that feels good in your hand. Give several pens a test drive, then write the letter with the one that flows smoothly across the page and rests comfortably in your hand.

In addition to handwritten letters, I also like to send “real” greeting cards for year-round holidays when people least expect them. Last year, after receiving one of my cards, one friend commented that she didn’t even know they made Happy Thanksgiving cards.

You can buy a set of 6 or 8 of these holiday cards for almost every holiday of the year for around $5. It only takes a few minutes to address them and most mailmen will pick up outgoing mail when they deliver your incoming mail.

I also enjoy sending postcards when I travel. To make this task easy I print off address labels of friends and relatives before I leave town.

On the first day of my trip I look for affordable sets of postcards. Then when I have a long ride or down time between touring historic sites, I can jot a brief greeting on each card. If I don’t find a post office handy I ask the hotel guest services associate to get the stamps and mail them for me.

Letting others know that they matter in your life is a practice that happy people share. The great thing about sending personal handwritten letters or cards is not only do you make someone’s day, but you make yours as well.

Tool for Happiness: Give Up the Quest

Professor Srikumar Rao, creator of popular graduate course Creativity and Personal Mastery, says that anything you think you can get to make you happy is something you also can “unget.” His view is that happiness is hard-wired into us and therefore there is nothing we need to get, do or be to be happy.

Listen to what he has to say. Then share your reactions.

Powerful Success Tips: 5 Tips That Will Propel You Toward Success

CB028161People who are having difficulty reaching goals labor under one big misconception. They believe that successful people move in one straight line from the inception of an idea to success.

On the contrary, successful people have strong beliefs that get them started, help them face difficulties and keep them going until they reach their goals.

Here are five of those beliefs.

1. I am worthy of success and deserve the best.

Successful people are able to go after what they want in life because they believe they deserve it. Your subconscious believes whatever you program into it and helps you get what you want. Trying to go after a goal you don’t believe you deserve is like driving west in an effort to go east.

2. I believe in my ability to handle whatever comes up.

Problems, adversities and challenges come up in everyone’s life. It is the belief that you can figure out a solution that is important.

3. There is a lesson I can learn from this failure

Many believe that failures are lessons designed to help us. When things don’t go your way, it’s helpful to reflect on what can use from the experience for the future.

4. I am responsible for my own life.

While we all can benefit from help from friends, colleagues and relatives, we must recognize that it’s the choices we make that create the lives we want.  Choosing what advice and paths to take is the most important of all.

5. I believe the sun will come out tomorrow.

This line from the musical Annie expresses how positive people feel. No matter what hard times they encounter, they believe that by continuing to move toward their goals, they will be successful.

How to Cultivate Happiness: Savor Life Like a Child

cookiegirlI was working on my laptop at Borders Bookstore recently when a father came in with his daughter, who looked to be about 10 years old, and the son, about 6. They sat down at the table next to me and pulled out their homework.

Before they started their homework, the dad asked if they wanted anything to eat or drink. What a question to ask kids!

The daughter wanted one of those large oatmeal cookies with cranberries. Her dad went over to the counter, bought the cookies and placed it in front of her.

I tried to maintain focus on my work. I always buy a cup of coffee to sip while I work, but fight off the urge to buy the sweets. My resolve was weakening.

Little Miss Cookie Eater broke off a piece of cookie and studied it before she lifted it to her mouth. A little nibble, a little nibble, and then pop! the whole piece went in her mouth. She chewed it slowly savoring every cranberry and crumb.

Why couldn’t she just devour that whole cookie so I could get back to my work?

She took so long eating that cookie because she was clearly prolonging it and getting delight from every bite.

You can guess the end of the story.

After the kids finished reviewing their spelling words, they left with their dad, but visions, smells and crunching memories lingered. When I couldn’t stand it any more I rushed over to the counter and ordered my own cookie.

“An oatmeal cookie with cranberries. Heated please.” I said to the clerk.

When I returned to my seat with my wonderful purchase, I thought about how much children enjoy food and activities they love. They use every sense to experience what they eat and what they do.

So take a lesson from children. Next time, don’t just chomp into that shiny red apple or the tight crisp green one, for example.

Study it first. Turn it over and look at the many shades of color on it. Run your hand over the smooth finish. After you have become acquainted with the apple, bite into it slowly. Listen to the sound it makes when your teeth puncture the skin and pull off your first bite. Feel the splash and trickle of juice.

Slowing down to engage all your senses, to capture the joy and full pleasure from your experiences, cultivates happiness in your life.

How to Cultivate Happiness: Flow with the Seasons

Shortly after birth of my son in 1975

Shortly after birth of my third child, my son, in 1975

When my children were young our family life revolved around their care, school work, and extracurricular activities. During that season of my life my husband and I had jobs, but our children were at the center of our planning. It was our childrearing season.

Here is what I shared in Chapter 6 in my book, “Color Your Life Happy: Create the Success, Abundance and Inner Joy You Deserve.”
about balancing family and work

Once committed and in tune with your spiritual source you will attract into your life the many things, people and circumstances that will make your intention manifest.

When my husband and I were raising our children, their concerns and needs were at the center of our planning.

When we remodeled our kitchen, for example, I wanted a work island even though our kitchen wasn’t quite big enough to give the preferred clearance according to the designer. But while he was just designing a meal preparation and eating center, I was also designing a homework and project center.

On week nights it was a wonderful spot for all four of the children to gather and complete their homework assignments and craft projects. On weekends it became the family cooking center. Sundays after church we’d experiment with new recipes that I found in the local and weekly newspapers. Each child helped do the chopping, grating, measuring and pouring. One of those recipes was such a hit with us that decades later it is still our favorite dish.

I successfully completed the season of childrearing and have enjoyed a number of other seasons since.

Your life,too, goes in seasons. It’s important to throw your energy and efforts into the season in which you are currently living rather than fighting against it.

Resist the temptation to look back to a season that has passed or forward to one whose time has not come. Be fully in the season you are in.

Perhaps you are in your spring preparation season where you are attending college, trade school or completing an internship. Open yourself to all the benefits of this season to create a firm foundation for upcoming seasons where you will enjoy the full bloom of summer.

Or perhaps you are in a wintry transition season between the end of a job, a relationship or death of a loved one and the start of a new way of life for you. Examine what you need to remove from your environment and what you need to gather to expedite the growth. Be patient with yourself as you grieve the loss, and know that the new growth that is not yet visible is forming and preparing to emerge to a full harvest.

To curse the season you are in is not productive. It makes you feel stuck and resentful. The worse part is you miss the beauty of that season and its potential for happiness. Notice the season you are in and flow with it.