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How to Harmonize Family and Work [An excerpt from Color Your Life Happy, 2nd ed.]

We are checking out the Olympic Village during the 1984 Summer Olympics.

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you,
as you are to them.

—Desmond Tutu

When I see parents pushing a baby in a stroller, I often wonder if they realize what a precious life they have been given. And more, I wonder if they realize what a tremendous opportunity they have to help this new life grow up to be a joyful, happy, and loving person.

So many of us get caught up earning the money we need to take care of our families that we neglect to devote the time, love, and energy to them that they deserve.

Even as a very young girl, I always expected to have both a family and a career. None of that either/or stuff for me. Growing up watching my mother run a successful home-based beauty shop while she raised three girls probably had something to do with my ambitions. Seeing her play the piano and organ at our church every Sunday, then dash home to cook a scrumptious dinner convinced me that balance was quite doable. I didn’t learn until later that this harmonizing act required skill, determination, and a secret ingredient.

The secret to harmonizing family and career

The secret to harmonizing your family and career is learning to take care of yourself first.

Wait! Don’t panic. I don’t mean you should neglect either your family or ignore your business. I mean you should do the things that make you happy and are important to you, so you feel full. By full, I mean complete, believing that you are enough. When you’re not engaged in satisfying activities, a career you love, and fulfilling your life’s purpose, you will feel an emptiness. Some people try to fill this emptiness with external pleasures like food, drink, drugs, sex, and other risky behavior. Those don’t work. Only by taking care of your needs and pursuing the life you love will you be able to give to your family and others.

Think about this. When airline attendants go through the emergency information just before the plane takes off, they always say, “In the unlikely event of loss of air pressure in the cabin, an oxygen mask will drop down. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting a child traveling with you.” In other words, you won’t be able to help anyone else if you’re incapacitated. The same thing is true in the rest of your life.

This simple truth applies especially when it comes to harmonizing your family and your career. You must take care of your own physical, psychological, and spiritual health so you’ll be able to work and be there for your family.

But there’s another important reason you should take care of yourself first. Your children, partner, family, customers, and others learn how to treat you based on the way you treat yourself. If you value, honor, and respect yourself, then others will, too.

Make harmonizing family and work a top priority in your life

Until recent years, it was mainly women (but not men) who faced the challenge of harmonizing family and work. That’s because, despite all our modern thinking and open lifestyles, the woman is still expected to bear the major responsibility for maintaining the family and the household—even if she’s a corporate CEO or the first woman elected president of a country. Advice on harmonizing family and work is still addressed to women in publications like Parents Magazine, websites like Working Mother, and increasingly in business publications like Forbes. Fair (2013) breathes fresh air into the parenting advice arena by confessing that it’s impossible to perfectly balance the ups and downs of juggling family and career. Her guilt-free tips urge us not to aim for perfection, but to decide what matters most and is long-lasting for our children, caring for ourselves, and enjoying satisfying careers too.

There’s no question that both family and work are important. Without income from work, the family cannot be housed and fed. But without a harmonious family, the benefits of work are lost. It is the responsibility of both parents, whether one or both have outside jobs, run a business, or stay at home.

Creating harmony is critical to family happiness

We need only to look at the lives of successful celebrity parents to see the struggles and failures disharmony can cause. Perhaps one of the most notable examples of inharmonious parenting was Bing Crosby, famous for his crooning love songs and his smooth rendition of “White Christmas.” As friendly and easy-going as he was on the screen, he was known by friends and others to be a violent, neglectful, and abusive parent to his four sons from his first marriage. After Bing’s death, his oldest son, Gary, wrote a tell-all book, Going My Own Way, about the abuse and neglect he and his brothers suffered. Sometime after the book’s publication, Gary confessed that he exaggerated some of his claims. Two of Gary’s brothers committed suicide and the third one died of a heart attack. Bing Crosby was loved by his fans for the gentle, loving, and happy-go-lucky guy he seemed to be in his songs and movies, but in his most important role—parenting—all the benefits of his fame and wealth seemed lost, at least with his first family.

In his second marriage, Bing was older and spent more time with the children of this marriage. Thus, they remember him with much love and affection. The PBS documentary Bing Crosby Rediscovered neither vilifies Bing nor puts him on a pedestal.

Another celebrity parent, Joan Crawford, was the main character in another famous tell-all book, Mommie Dearest, written in 1978 by her adopted daughter, Christina Crawford, and made into a movie in 1981. According to Christina and her brother, Christopher, Joan Crawford’s bouts with alcohol and men and the stress of her acting career caused her to become abusive. Joan’s obsession with perfection made life unbearable for Christina and her brother as they found they couldn’t live up to their mother’s standards.

While there is much we adults can do to help ourselves overcome sad, abusive, and horrible childhoods, it would clearly be far better to have been nurtured and valued in a loving environment as children. We can do for our children what our parents did not do for us. We can maintain a harmonious family and succeed in a career. This is the toughest harmonizing act in life, and yet many achieve it. How do they do it? Most important, how can you do it?

I’ve already mentioned the importance of taking care of yourself first. What else can you do to ensure that you will be able to harmonize family and career?

Start with intention

I’ve always marveled at the way a cocktail waitress correctly remembers the drink order of each person in a large group without writing it down. When she returns to the table later, she asks who wants a refill, again remembering the drink order of each person. Most amazing is when the party leaves and a new group is seated at the same table, the process starts again. The waitress erases the previous group’s orders from her mental slate and now takes the new drink orders. How is she able to do that? Intention. She plans to remember, has faith that she will remember, and commits to remembering.

To harmonize family and work, you must intend to do so and commit to it. Decide that you want harmony, then be willing to do whatever it takes to bring it about. You can’t approach raising a family and succeeding at work as a “maybe” or a test run. It isn’t a rehearsal. It’s your life, and you must live it full speed ahead if it is to be harmonized and happy.

Give up the if-onlys and what-ifs.

Looking at the present as a reason for not going after what you want is a trap. It holds you back from finding ways to get what you want.

If only I had sent my children to private school, they would have gotten better jobs.

A person who looks backwards is like someone driving forward while looking in the rearview mirror. You are focusing on something you can’t change while ignoring the only time you can change: the here and now.

Use regrets as lessons

If you do find regrets of past actions creeping into your mind today, use those regrets as lessons to help you create a better life now. But also use them to forgive yourself and others. Here how:

Accept responsibility for the mistake you believe you made, but don’t dwell on it. A problem claimed is a problem that can be reframed. I like to ask myself, “What did I learn from the experience?” as a way to begin healing.
Give yourself credit for being a caring person. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel guilt, shame, or pain for your behavior. Use your past behavior only as a starting point to build a different future.
Don’t waste time thinking that forgiveness means condoning mistakes or poor judgment. You’re human and therefore guaranteed to make errors. Forgive yourself so you can heal.
Imagine what you would say to your best friend if she were in the same situation. Chances are, you would offer her encouragement. Say these words of encouragement to yourself.
Think of one small step forward you can take. Once you can take one small step forward, you are no longer stuck. Now you are in transition, which is a great place to be.
Look around you and think about the things in your life you have to be grateful for. Dwell on the fact that there are many in the world who would consider themselves wealthy to have some of the things, relationships, and experiences you take for granted.
If your regrets linger, get professional help from a therapist, group, spiritual leader, or medical professional. There’s no need to go it alone.

The idea is to work with what you have. You don’t need a mansion, and you don’t need to shower your family with toys and gifts to be happy and successful. Your intention to create harmony in your family is the best start.

What are some ways you can harmonize your family and work? Do you have a tip to add to the ones I shared here? Tell us in the Comments.

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This is how I begin Chapter 7, Harmonizing Family and Work in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Visit https://coloryourlifehappy.com to to learn more about the book before it is released on Amazon and other major booksellers. [/feature_box]

Filed Under: blog

Simplify Your Life, Increase Your Happiness [Excerpt from Color Your Life Happy, 2nd ed.]

By Flora Leave a Comment

Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
—Henry David Thoreau

In the movies of my childhood about the westward migration of Americans in the 1800s, there was always a string of rickety wagons loaded with families’ worldly possessions slowly crossing the prairies. Bed frames and rocking chairs were tied on top with pots and pans clanging against the sides. Drawn to what they hoped would be a more prosperous life on cheap land they’d heard about in letters from relatives and friends who had gone before, the pioneer families pushed on in spite of dwindling supplies, wagon breakdowns, and occasional fights with cantankerous fellow pioneers along the way.

As the movie family grew weary of fighting off disease, battling with Native Americans who were desperately trying to protect their land and families, stopping only to bury those on whom the trip had taken its toll, plus trying to keep up their spirits, they eventually realized they could travel faster if they lightened their load. The western migratory trails became lined with discarded household furniture and other possessions.

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you need.
—Vernon Howard

While the pioneers shed their possessions to expedite their westward journey, throughout history, people have chosen simple living for spiritual, secular, health, anti-consumerism, and other reasons.

He has the most who is most content with the least.
—Diogenes

The move to simpler living

Simple living has deep historical roots. Diogenes of Sinope (fourth century BCE), believed that happiness comes from meeting our basic needs. He is credited with many witticisms regarding simple living. Thoreau (2013), American author, poet, abolitionist, and naturalist (born in 1817 in Concord, Massachusetts), conducted a two-year experiment with simple living in a cabin he built beside Walden Pond. Mohandas K. Gandhi, born in India in 1869, is best known for non-violent civil disobedience and living a simple life of self-sufficiency.

Many ordinary people today are throwing up their hands in defeat, trying to keep up with the Joneses at the cost of amassing huge debts. They have engaged in a “simplicity movement” to reduce stress and become participants rather than bystanders in their lives. The possessions we craved in the past, such as luxury cars, expensive wardrobes and accessories, and a big house with a big backyard, have betrayed us. The satisfaction we expected from our expensive possessions is short-lived. Our sense of well-being also declines as we see the cost of keeping up our possession-rich lifestyle becoming too high.

Putnam (2000) found these efforts to keep up with the Joneses by commuting to higher paying jobs disturbing, not just for what it does to our personal lives, but for what it means to our community. Those of us who have been freeway fliers making long commutes to work didn’t need Putnam to tell us those commutes are killers. Putnam found that every ten minutes of commuting results in ten percent fewer social connections. Commuting adds to social isolation and is destined to contribute to unhappiness.

I’m a former road warrior. Trust me—you do not ever get used to the commute. It’s not the miles that get you down. It was the uncertainty brought on by changing weather, the rising cost of gas, and accidents and detours that persuaded me to move closer to my job. After driving thirty-five miles one way to work the first year of my last full-time job, it wasn’t long before I vowed to move closer. Yes, it meant selling my house and uprooting my kids, and getting settled into a new lifestyle. But my peace of mind depended on it. When I found a house eight and a half miles from my job, I was elated. For the first time in my married life, I could be home in minutes, easily attend my kids’ school events, and even walk to the store, the post office, and other places if I chose to do so.

Americans’ fascination with cars has diminished so much in our nation. In fact, the less time we have to spend in them, the happier we are. A major consideration for families considering a move is the “walk score” of the location, which you can find for your home and workplace at http://www.walkscore.com. The more errands, socializing, and civic engagement that can be accomplished on foot, the higher the walk score.

More than just a reaction to economic conditions, simpler living is enabling families to spend more time together. Parents can read to their kids at night. We worry less about bills and upkeep. On a practical level, moving to a smaller dwelling also means less to store and clean. People who can downsize without feeling deprived can better enjoy the possessions that have high value for them.

You may already have the life you want

Many of us find we are happier when we simplify our lives. But many of us are also like the American tourist in the following story, which is similar in spirit to the philosophy of the Chinese philosopher, Chuang Tzu.

An American tourist stood at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village and watched as a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his catch and asked how long it had taken to catch them.

“Only a little while.”

“Then why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the tourist asked.

“With this,” the fisherman said, “I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening. I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The tourist scoffed. “I can help you. You should spend more time fishing and use the proceeds to buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you could sell directly to the processor and open your own cannery. Then you would control product, processing, and distribution. You could leave this small village and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually to New York, where you could run your ever-expanding enterprise.”

“But, how long will this take?” the fisherman asked.

“Fifteen to twenty years.”

“But what then?” asked the fisherman.

The tourist laughed. “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”

“Millions? Then what?”

“Then you would retire,” the American said. “Move to a small, coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Do you, like the American tourist in the story, long for a simpler life, but believe you can only have it in some distant future? The truth is, of course, that you can have it now. You can use one or more of the following ideas to simplify your life and enjoy it more every day.

Slow down

Since the beginning of the Industrial Era in our country, we seem to have become obsessed with doing things faster and faster. Have you almost been sideswiped by a grocery shopper rushing to beat you to the checkout line? Or was that you who whizzed by me?

Our lives are so rushed, it’s a wonder we even see the scenery as we go through life. Oh, that’s right—we don’t.
Honoré (2005) pointed out that slow is a state of mind. He said,

Fast isn’t turning us into Masters of the Universe. It’s turning us into Cheech and Chong…Slow is just a new word to understand old problems…It’s a re-freshening of ideas that have been there since time immemorial. But there’s a new appeal about the word slow. It’s pithy, it’s countercultural. (Cited in Green, 2008)

Americans are so unfamiliar with the concept of slowness that when his book was published in the U.S., its title was changed from In Praise of Slow to In Praise of Slowness (but with the same subtitle).

The Slow Movement

The slow movement began in Italy in the 1980s as the Slow Food Movement. Now “slow” is a term used to encourage us to do everything at the right speed, whether it’s education, exercise, sex, or work. The slow movement isn’t “anti-speed.” It favors connectedness. Rushing through everything prevents us from savoring food, enjoying life experiences, and associating with people. Honoré doesn’t suggest that we slow our lives to a snail’s pace. But he finds it troubling that we have one-minute children’s stories, speed dating, and the need to amass thousands of so-called friends on Facebook, each of which diminishes the opportunity for a meaningful encounter.

If you always feel tired and rushed, and can barely remember what you did, ate, or saw in a day, then you know you need to slow down. It’s no surprise that the Slow Food Movement began in Italy, the home of fabulous food. When Carlo Petrini learned that McDonald’s planned to build a franchise near the Piazza di Spagna in Rome, he organized a demonstration. As weapons of protest, he and his followers threw—what else?—penne pasta. Soon after, Petrini founded the International Slow Food Movement, which encourages us to take care with what and how we eat. The Slow Food Movement’s advocates want to save endangered foods such as the red abalone, Northern California heirloom turkeys, and Vella Cheese Company’s dry, aged Monterey Jack cheese, promote responsible agricultural systems, and help us return to the joy of food preparation and consumption.

If you’re ready to slow down, here are some ideas to get you started:

• Avoid cookie-cutter homes by visiting www.TheSlowHome.com.
• Enjoy your travel. Ease over to SlowPlanet.com and wrap yourself in sustainable clothes, jewelry and furniture at http://alabamachanin.com.
• Disenchanted with instant messaging? Try the slow electronic mail movement at www.slowlab.net.
• Learn more about the Slow Movement at www.CarlHonore.com.

Investigate these ideas on slowness. The slow life may be just your speed.

Have you cut back, slowed down or simplified your life in some way? Share in the comments how it affected your happiness.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 6, Simplifying Your Life for Happiness in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Visit https://coloryourlifehappy.com to get updates on when the book is available at Amazon and other major booksellers. [/feature_box]

References

Green, Penelope. (2008, January 31). The slow life picks up speed. Retrieved from
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/garden/31slow.html

Honore, C. (2005). In praise of slowness: Challenging the cult of speed.
New York: Harper One.

Putnam, R. D. (2000) Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American
community. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000.

Thoreau, H. D. (2013). Walden. New York: Empire Books.

Filed Under: blog, Happiness, simplify your life

Do More of What You Enjoy

By Flora 2 Comments

I couldn’t resist posing at the typical tourist spot by the Leaning Tower of Pisa

It’s inevitable that as we get older, we will attend more funerals. There’s nothing that reminds us of our own mortality like watching our friends and contemporaries succumb to illnesses or die of natural causes. One of my friends uses funerals to remind herself to keep busy enjoying her life. “Every time I return from a funeral,” she says, “I book another cruise.”

What do you enjoy?

You may not long for cruises, but surely there’s something you’ve always wanted to do. If you don’t do it now, when are you going to do it?

Maybe you’ve always wanted to pursue a certain hobby, write your life story, climb a mountain, travel by rail across the United States, or learn another language. The possibilities are endless.

But I can already hear your objections:

I don’t have the money.
I don’t like traveling alone.
I don’t know anyone to go with me to [fill in the blank].
I’m too old to [fill in the blank].
I’m afraid to fly.
I’m afraid to drive.
I don’t like public transportation.

For just a moment, pretend that none of your objections exist. What would you love to do? Make a list. Since this is all imaginary, feel free to make your list as long as you want and make your wishes as elaborate as you can imagine!

What do you need to do?

Now look at your list and pick one wish and write all the things you would have to do to have that wish come true.

I’ll give you a personal example. I mentioned that one of my goals was to travel to Europe. What did I need to do?

Get a passport.
Choose a country.
Look up airfares.
Look up organized tours going to that country.
Check out prices of tours.
Select a tour.
Investigate and rearrange my finances to see how I could comfortably afford the trip.
Talk to people who have been where I want to go to get tips and advice.

What are the immediate things you can do?

Your next step is to make a list of each of the items on your list, and for each item identify what you need to do to accomplish your goal. For example, to get a passport I needed to find out:

Where to get a passport
The price of a passport
The application process
What else is involved.

By the time you get to this third tier of your list, you will see that there are things you can do today or tomorrow. For example, it takes only a few minutes to find out where to get a passport. If you have access to the Internet, you can find out all you need to know about passports (or anything else) very quickly. If you don’t have access to the Internet, your local library does. The librarian will be happy to help you find the information you need.

This is just the start, of course. But keep it up and your objections will begin to evaporate. Get busy, and start on your first list now!

And by all means, don’t wait for someone else to be ready.

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What do you enjoy? Have you delayed doing it? What is a small step you could take tomorrow? Share in the comments.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 5, Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Visit https://coloryourlifehappy.com to get updates on when the book is available at Amazon and other major booksellers. [/feature_box]

Filed Under: blog

Be Willing to Do What It Takes to Reach Your Goal

By Flora 2 Comments

Now this may sound too obvious even to mention, but it’s true. Many years ago, when my kids watched Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, an American children’s TV series that began in the 1960s, one of his popular songs was “You’ve Got to Do It.” The gist of this seemingly simple song was that you can make believe, wish, or daydream about what you want, but for something to happen you’ve got to take action. In other words, after planning, visualizing, and setting goals, you still have to take action.

Do you want to reach goals or make changes in your life?
Are you willing to do what it takes?

—John Addison

When none of my friends were available I was willing to go alone.

It’s often fun to find friends to join you in activities. There will be times, however, when no one is available to join you on your journey to your goal. It’s at those times when what it takes to reach your goal is to be willing to go it alone.

Here’s an experience that demonstrates what happens when you are willing to do what it takes. One weekend a few years ago, I went to see the musical The Color Purple at a theater in downtown Los Angeles with a group of theater-goers from Santa Ana College in Orange County. (I didn’t know any of them.) We parked our cars at the college and went by charter bus into L.A. I chose to go with this group so I wouldn’t have to drive.

As we made our way to our seats, I was disappointed to see that we were in the highest balcony. You know—up in the “nosebleed” section. Whoever designed that steep slope of a balcony must never have had to sit up there. I’m not squeamish, but I was beginning to realize that I was not going to enjoy this musical so many miles from the stage. The actors would probably look about three inches tall. It was twenty minutes before the curtain went up, and I was so discontented that a feeling of not settling for less than I deserved welled up inside me.

Different scenarios and dialogues started shouting in my head.

This was the internal argument between the two inner me’s:

I refuse to sit in these inadequate seats.

Who do you think you are? Everyone else seems to be okay, even though they’re complaining about how high up these seats are.

That’s them. I’m not happy.

What are you going to do about it? The show’s about to start.

I don’t know. But there’s no way I’m going to enjoy the show in this seat! I wonder whether they have any available seats left in the lower levels.

Go and see. Are you willing to spend more money on another seat?

Yes, I’m willing to buy another seat. I’m going to the box office and buying a seat in the orchestra. Or at least the mezzanine.

What if they don’t have any seats left?

If they don’t have any available seats, I’ll just call a friend to come and pick me up. I’d rather hang out in the lobby than sit in this seat!

You mean you’re willing to make all those folks between you and the aisle get up to let you out?

Yep. I’m outta here!

I rose from my seat and slid my way to the aisle, murmuring, “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.” As I approached the ticket booth outside the theater, a lady walked up to me.

“Do you need a ticket for this performance?” she inquired.

“Where’s the seat?” I asked, looking at the ticket in her hand to verify that it was a better section than I’d been in.

“The mezzanine,” she replied.

“Great! Are you trying to sell it or give it away?” I had to check.

“You may have it for free because my friend couldn’t come,” she said.

“Thank you.”

She placed the ticket in my outstretched hand. I felt very satisfied, but now I wanted to try to give away my top balcony seat if I could. I began scanning the approaching crowd, trying to spot anyone headed to the ticket booth. Just then, a gentleman approached me and extended a ticket toward me. “Would you like a free ticket to today’s performance?” he asked. “My wife couldn’t attend.”

“Where’s the seat?” I inquired a second time. By this time, I definitely wasn’t going to settle for a bad seat.

“Oh, it’s a great seat,” he insisted, practically begging me to accept his free ticket. “It’s in the orchestra.”

“Thanks!” I scooped the ticket out of his hand.

Now I had three tickets to this performance.

Although I tried to give away my two extra tickets, I found no takers. And by now, security had their eyes on me, trying to decide if I was a scalper. It was now less than ten minutes before curtain, so I gave up trying to give away my extra tickets and dashed to my new orchestra seat.

I enjoyed the performance immensely in my wonderful seat, only eleven rows from the stage. I saw every nuance of the casts’ telling facial gestures and the lively conducting of the orchestra leader. The stirring vocal and dance performances and heartwarming story were made even better by my proximity to the action.

I am positive that I would not have attracted this great seat into my life if I had not first been willing to do whatever it took.

Please note that I didn’t have to take any of the drastic actions that played out in my head. I just had to be willing to do them.

When you refuse to accept what you don’t want, declare with passion what you do want and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it, the universe conspires to bring what you want and place it in your hands.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 5, Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Pre-order your copy(ies) at https://coloryourlifehappy.com before October 3rd and receive an autographed copy when the book is released on Amazon and other major booksellers. [/feature_box]

Filed Under: blog, goals

What Happiness is Not [an excerpt from Color Your Life Happy, 2nd edition]

By Flora 5 Comments

Happiness is not the absence of sadness. Quite the contrary. Happy people acknowledge sadness and allow themselves to feel it. They choose to not be crushed by it, but instead learn from it and move beyond it.

Happiness is not the situational emotional high you feel when you win the lottery or get a new car. These are short term. You probably don’t get the same thrill from your new car a few months later as you did the day you drove it off the lot.

One of the customers at my manicurist shop had an appointment just before mine every month. She was always cheerful and full of lively conversation. When I’d mention my upcoming vacations, she’d always offer tips on places to visit in the locale because she had already been there. She enjoyed movies, visiting casinos, shopping, and spending time with her many friends and family. She was so much fun I always looked forward to seeing her. You can imagine my shock to learn that she had stage IV cancer and was almost always in physical discomfort and pain from chemotherapy and other invasive treatments. The only time I’d ever seen a hint of sadness in her was the day after her brother died. When I visited her in the hospital a few weeks before she died, she was hooked up to multiple tubes and still, when I walked in her room, she threw open her arms and welcomed me with a big smile.

I remember this beautiful soul whenever I begin to feel down or sorry for myself. Like the speed bumps on the road, these times cause me to slow down. I accept where I am at the moment, acknowledge my feelings, and use those times to grow stronger, more creative, and more grateful.

How about you? Share in the comments how you handle the sad bumps along your happiness journey.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 1, Opening Your Mind to Happiness in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Pre-order your copy(ies) at https://coloryourlifehappy.com before October 3rd and receive an autographed copy when the book is released on Amazon and other major booksellers. [/feature_box]