Three Things Happy People Do and You Can Too [Excerpt from Color Your Life Happy, 2nd Edition]

happy peoplePeople who value their happiness commit to creating a loving environment. They do this by steering clear of toxic people and things.  In this excerpt from Chapter 7 of Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim Your Joy,  discover three ways you can do what happy people do.

Avoid letting toxic people bring you down

Toxic people always make you feel unhappy, depressed, discouraged, and tired. They enjoy dumping their negative stories, adventures, complaints, and fault-finding on you. Once they do, you may notice that they seem relieved, maybe even relaxed and cheerful, but that’s only because they’ve given you their poison. If you tried to comfort them, maybe they sucked up some of your positivity and left you empty.

Psychic vampires are not good for us if we want to be happy people. The problem is that after they’ve gone away, you’re still feeling down and their negative energy is still reverberating through your home (and life.)

Just as you wouldn’t knowingly expose your family to harmful viruses, poison ivy, or caustic fumes, don’t unknowingly expose them to the negativity of toxic people and psychic vampires. While it may be true that the ones you know are suffering from mental problems, it isn’t your job to cure them, and you certainly can’t drag them to therapy.

You owe it to yourself and your family to keep these toxic people away because there is no way to have them in your space without being poisoned by their negativity. This is true even if some of your relatives fall into this unfortunate group. While it’s tougher keeping negative relatives away, it’s critical to your happiness.

Draw clear boundaries

Drawing clear boundaries is one way to keep these folks away. Maintaining your positive attitude and countering their negative talk with positive talk is another way. But for the hardcore bottom feeders who only get pleasure from releasing evil thoughts and behavior, you may have to tell them clearly and in easy-to-understand language that they are not welcome in your home (and life).

I used to lament the fact that I only saw certain relatives at funerals and never socialized with them otherwise. As I grew older and wiser, I realized that there was a good reason for that. They were toxic, and I didn’t want my children exposed to the ones who enjoyed dredging up painful events, gossiping about whoever was absent from the gathering, and reveled in recounting how that person had cheated, hurt, or maligned someone.

Fortunately, they didn’t want to be around my efforts to be cheerful, positive, and happy, so we stayed apart.

A friend of mine who was a social psychologist once told me that when you feel bad after having been in someone’s company, you have just been emotionally abused.

Choose carefully the company you keep

Toxic people certainly have a right to live their lives as they wish, but so do you. Make a decision to invite positive and uplifting people into your home and your life. Expose your family to people who are living wonderful, inspiring, and engaging lives. You didn’t get to choose your relatives, but you can choose the company you keep. If some of your relatives aren’t people you want to spend time with, love them from a distance.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 7, "Harmonizing Family and Work" in Color Your Life Happy: Create Your Unique Path and Claim the Joy You Deserve, 2nd edition. Pre-order your copy(ies) at http://coloryourlifehappy.com before October 3rd and receive an autographed copy after the book is released on Amazon and other major booksellers.

 

 

How do you keep toxic people from poisoning your environment or mood? Tell us about it in the comments.

Master the Genie Within You to Live the Life You Want

Are you looking for more peace, fun and joy and less stress and disappointment?

Welcome to the Club.

We are all  looking for ways to live happier lives, but too often are looking in the wrong places.

There is no argument that activities like eating delicious food, shopping and spending time with friends
all bring pleasure. Such external pleasures however, will be short-lived if we haven’t taken one important action.

Travelling to distant places is exciting, entertaining and enriching. The longest and deepest trip,
however, that will transform our lives is the trip we take within.

Researchers have discovered that the happiest people in the world are not the wealthiest, but rather
the people who do fulfilling work, express gratitude, choose positive thoughts and emotions, and
have developed ways to reduce stress and find joy from within.

A just-released book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You, will help you take
that journey within.

In the book, therapist Gladys Anderson helps you recognize and access the power of your personal genie within to rid yourself
of limiting beliefs and the masks you wear that hide who you really are. By claiming your own power, Anderson shows how you
can handle the adversities that come your way and by engaging in activities that call upon your strengths can live the life you want.

It is now available on Amazon in paperback or you can read it on your Kindle,
smartphones, PC’s and Mac’s!  You can download a free Kindle reader from Amazon.

Enjoy the following excerpt from Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You

Give Up the Superwoman Role

Give up trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect employee, the perfect hostess, the perfect parent, the perfect daughter, or the
perfect friend. It is not possible.

But so what if you never throw a party like Martha Stewart, the home decorating guru, organize your workspace like a professional
organizer, or empty your inbox?

What you can do is accept the situation as it is. There is such a thing as “good enough,” and when you’ve done your best, it’s good
enough. Relinquish the notion that you can do all, and be all things to everyone in your life.

You are NOT  Superwoman. Remember, Superwoman has superhuman strength and can fly and she is not real.

Real women need to set boundaries on their time, their “chores,” their lives. If you let others control your time and resources, you
open the floodgates to stress, anxiety, and frustration. Instead of being nice and accommodating, you’re really teaching other
people that they have the power to determine how, when, and what you spend your time doing. The role of Superwoman is a clever way
of wearing the mask of perfection.

If you’ve been feeling that there is more to your life than you are currently living, then listen to that inner yearning.

 

Do you feel yourself being blocked from living the life you want? Do you sense that you are hiding the real you or suffering from the
burden of trying to be perfect? Share with us in the Comments.

Skipping Along with Glee is Not My Daily Reality

kidsplayingWhen folks find out I wrote a book on happiness, they sometimes eye me with suspicious,  as if they are waiting to see if I will skip away with glee or float on air rather than walk to my car.  Seeking, attracting or maintaining happiness doesn’t mean you won’t encounter sadness, upset or sometimes downright disgust.  As a matter of fact, I can get disgusted, sad, upset with the best of them. Some days I feel like a failure and can find fault with every aspect of my life.

Creating a life of happiness means gathering tools, strategies, and behaviors that enable you to cope with feelings, events and people that come along.

Of course your happiness depends on arranging your life to steer clear of trouble and being ready for adversity, just as you own an umbrella to be ready to stay dry during the rain. But just as there’s nothing you can do to keep the rain from falling, you can’t prevent some of the events that will enter your life. What you can do is develop the ways, attitude and behaviors that allow you to deal with whatever comes up, to bounce back and  return to your own happiness set-point.

On a  recent radio episode, “How to Go from Overwhelmed to Overjoyed” I discuss seven steps that help you move from situations that have the potential to overwhelm you to a state of being joyful and appreciative of  your life. I encourage you to listen to this episode and share your take on what I shared. Listen to it here  “How to Go From Overwhelmed to Overjoyed