Listen to what he has to say. Then share your reactions.

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People who are having difficulty reaching goals labor under one big misconception. They believe that successful people move in one straight line from the inception of an idea to success.

On the contrary, successful people have strong beliefs that get them started, help them face difficulties and keep them going until they reach their goals.

Here are five of those beliefs.

1. I am worthy of success and deserve the best.

Successful people are able to go after what they want in life because they believe they deserve it. Your subconscious believes whatever you program into it and helps you get what you want. Trying to go after a goal you don’t believe you deserve is like driving west in an effort to go east.

2. I believe in my ability to handle whatever comes up.

Problems, adversities and challenges come up in everyone’s life. It is the belief that you can figure out a solution that is important.

3. There is a lesson I can learn from this failure

Many believe that failures are lessons designed to help us. When things don’t go your way, it’s helpful to reflect on what can use from the experience for the future.

4. I am responsible for my own life.

While we all can benefit from help from friends, colleagues and relatives, we must recognize that it’s the choices we make that create the lives we want.  Choosing what advice and paths to take is the most important of all.

5. I believe the sun will come out tomorrow.

This line from the musical Annie expresses how positive people feel. No matter what hard times they encounter, they believe that by continuing to move toward their goals, they will be successful.

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Before they started their homework, the dad asked if they wanted anything to eat or drink. What a question to ask kids!

The daughter wanted one of those large oatmeal cookies with cranberries. Her dad went over to the counter, bought the cookies and placed it in front of her.

I tried to maintain focus on my work. I always buy a cup of coffee to sip while I work, but fight off the urge to buy the sweets. My resolve was weakening.

Little Miss Cookie Eater broke off a piece of cookie and studied it before she lifted it to her mouth. A little nibble, a little nibble, and then pop! the whole piece went in her mouth. She chewed it slowly savoring every cranberry and crumb.

Why couldn’t she just devour that whole cookie so I could get back to my work?

She took so long eating that cookie because she was clearly prolonging it and getting delight from every bite.

You can guess the end of the story.

After the kids finished reviewing their spelling words, they left with their dad, but visions, smells and crunching memories lingered. When I couldn’t stand it any more I rushed over to the counter and ordered my own cookie.

“An oatmeal cookie with cranberries. Heated please.” I said to the clerk.

When I returned to my seat with my wonderful purchase, I thought about how much children enjoy food and activities they love. They use every sense to experience what they eat and what they do.

So take a lesson from children. Next time, don’t just chomp into that shiny red apple or the tight crisp green one, for example.

Study it first. Turn it over and look at the many shades of color on it. Run your hand over the smooth finish. After you have become acquainted with the apple, bite into it slowly. Listen to the sound it makes when your teeth puncture the skin and pull off your first bite. Feel the splash and trickle of juice.

Slowing down to engage all your senses, to capture the joy and full pleasure from your experiences, cultivates happiness in your life.

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Shortly after birth of my third child, my son, in 1975

When my children were young our family life revolved around their care, school work, and extracurricular activities. During that season of my life my husband and I had jobs, but our children were at the center of our planning. It was our childrearing season.

Here is what I shared in Chapter 6 in my book, “Color Your Life Happy: Create the Success, Abundance and Inner Joy You Deserve.”
about balancing family and work

Once committed and in tune with your spiritual source you will attract into your life the many things, people and circumstances that will make your intention manifest.

When my husband and I were raising our children, their concerns and needs were at the center of our planning.

When we remodeled our kitchen, for example, I wanted a work island even though our kitchen wasn’t quite big enough to give the preferred clearance according to the designer. But while he was just designing a meal preparation and eating center, I was also designing a homework and project center.

On week nights it was a wonderful spot for all four of the children to gather and complete their homework assignments and craft projects. On weekends it became the family cooking center. Sundays after church we’d experiment with new recipes that I found in the local and weekly newspapers. Each child helped do the chopping, grating, measuring and pouring. One of those recipes was such a hit with us that decades later it is still our favorite dish.

I successfully completed the season of childrearing and have enjoyed a number of other seasons since.

Your life,too, goes in seasons. It’s important to throw your energy and efforts into the season in which you are currently living rather than fighting against it.

Resist the temptation to look back to a season that has passed or forward to one whose time has not come. Be fully in the season you are in.

Perhaps you are in your spring preparation season where you are attending college, trade school or completing an internship. Open yourself to all the benefits of this season to create a firm foundation for upcoming seasons where you will enjoy the full bloom of summer.

Or perhaps you are in a wintry transition season between the end of a job, a relationship or death of a loved one and the start of a new way of life for you. Examine what you need to remove from your environment and what you need to gather to expedite the growth. Be patient with yourself as you grieve the loss, and know that the new growth that is not yet visible is forming and preparing to emerge to a full harvest.

To curse the season you are in is not productive. It makes you feel stuck and resentful. The worse part is you miss the beauty of that season and its potential for happiness. Notice the season you are in and flow with it.

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Posing with Uni and Joungmin on my patio

1. Be curious

Stay open to new ideas by reading and listening to inspirational, entertaining and informative material. There is much material available to you online, in your local library and many other places.

One such place to spark new ideas is Springwise This company has 80,000 spotters around the globe looking for inspirational ideas for entrepreneurs. Maybe one of this ideas will spark a new venture in your mind.

2. Be sociable

Get off the Internet for a while and hang out with other people near you who share your interests and are engaged in activities you enjoy. One place to start is Meetup.com, the world’s largest network of local groups. Search for groups in your interest area and locale, or start one if you wish. I belong to several Meetups in my area and assisted my daughter in starting one.

3. Be giving

Donate to charities and agencies in need of aid, but also give of yourself. It feeds your happiness and spreads it to others. One way that some are giving of themselves is through couchsurfing.org, the largest hospitality exchange network in the world. Through CouchSurfing travelers make connections with others in the local communities they visit. You may participate by meeting a visitor for coffee when they are in your town or host them if you wish. The photo above shows a couple who stayed with us for three days on their long road trip from Canada back to their home in South Korea.

4. Be positive.

It is said that we have about 70,000 thoughts per day. If it is true that we attract what we think about, then we must selective about the thoughts that permeate our minds all day.

The thoughts in your mind won’t control circumstances outside of you, they just determine how you react to and are affected by those circumstances.

One way I stay positive is to talk to other positive people, listen to motivational and inspirational audio and live programs, and most of all, begin and end each day with positive affirmations and prayer. For weekly tips that will help you stay focused on positive, be sure to subscribe to the Color Your Life Happy Newsletter.

5. Be proactive.

Insist on doing things you enjoy. Don’t get so caught up in working that you neglect engaging in what you find enjoyable.

Be resourceful and creative about it. If you enjoy gardening, for example, but seem to be short on time once you arrive home, then bring live plants into your office or workplace. An added benefit according to some studies is that live plants help purify the air, create soothing effects and help reduce work stress.

Using these ideas daily will help feed and maintain your happiness.

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Working dog by meg price on flickr

Weeds are the dreaded enemy of beautiful gardens because they compete with your garden for water and nutrients. Likewise, the weeds in your life must go because they sap your energy and block the intake of positive thoughts and action toward your goals.

What are some of these weeds?

1. Some weeds were born into your life through no fault of your own. They are better known as family. Some family members are wonderfully nurturing and a joy to have in your life. Others are toxic, negative, choking the life out of your goals and positive action. You know the ones I mean. They are the ones who leave a heavy cloud of doubt, depression and sorrow even after they are no longer physically present.

2. Some weeds you brought into your life. These are better known as friends, spouses and children. While we all would love to be able to share our dreams and goals with these people closest to us, it’s not always the wisest thing to do. Be selective about sharing your dreams with those who don’t have your best interest at heart. Even though they may have good intentions, watching you go after your passion makes them afraid for your safety and ashamed of their own lack of action. If you let them project their fears and insecurities on you, your progress toward the life that makes you happy will be slowed if not stopped.

3. Some weeds come into your life based on circumstances and situations. These are better known as neighbors, coworkers, and members of clubs and associations. When you were hired by your company or when you joined a given church or club, folks were already there. Some of these people will share your interests and become close friends and partners. Others may feel threatened by your positive actions and work to sabotage you.

How do you remove these weeds from your life?

Minimizing contact is the first step to reduce exposure to the life-sapping efforts of people out to diminish your worth and devalue your goals. When on a job, for example, you choose carefully the people with whom you will have lunch or take breaks.

There are some, of course, from whom you must sever ties as soon as you are aware of the damage they are causing. When you are in any relationship where you sustain physical, emotional or psychological violence, your life and well being depend on removing yourself as soon as possible to safety.

Preventing future weeds from entering and taking over your beautiful and thriving life is the next step. Now that you can recognize them, you can act quickly to keep them from getting a foothold in your life.

Finally, be on guard against inviting and entertaining your own internal weeds in the form of negative thinking and self-destructive habits.

As you practice more positive thoughts, follow your passion and pursue your goals be prepared for the efforts of the weeds to return. It’s their nature to go where they can get nourishment. Now that you are set on cultivating happiness, you must absolutely deny their presence in your life.

But don’t worry about them, they are a hardy and determined breed. They will soon find new, unsuspecting hosts nearby.

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When I plant the tomatoes I fully expect to get tomatoes, not grapes, not peaches, not peppers.

It’s not hard to understand that whatever we plant in the soil is exactly what will bloom. It’s a simple and acceptable idea.

And yet, in the way we live our lives we act as if some other rule applies.

We plant negative talk in our heads, and then wonder why we get negative results.

We hang around people who complain and gossip, and wonder why we experience disappointing results in our lives.

Our minds are even more fertile than the soil. Our subconscious is a powerful thing. It has no choice but to move us toward whatever we put there.

The idea that positive thoughts and positive talk move us toward positive results is not the platitudes of positive thinking gurus. It’s fact.

On my radio show today, my guest Chris Gloss, motivational coach better known as the Possibilitarian, said that our words are the arrows that we send ahead of us. You can probably think of a time when you said of someone you know “He’s a pain in the neck,” and you did indeed experience neck pain.

Or after you experienced a letdown you said, “I knew that would happen.”

Whether we speak the words or think them, we are planting ideas and thoughts in our heads.

Is there any doubt what you need to do next?

Whether you believe me or not doesn’t matter. Just look around what’s going on in your life. If you don’t like what you see, change what you plant.

Plant what you want to grow in your life.

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While I’m busy with my happiness projects my kid are busy encouraging me to be healthier. It’s not that I am a total food slob. As a matter of fact, I grew up on very healthy diet since my mom was from the South. I’m discovering, however. .

My food choices and cooking habits from childhood need reworking.
• The vegetables we ate were overcooked thus rendering them less nutritious.
• I don’t ever remember my mom using the word “cholesterol.”
• Eating everything on your plate seemed like good advice at one time.
• You can’t make a sandwich without bread.

As I learn to listen to my body, some food choices are immediately evaluated. I’m discovering, for example, that some sweets are far sweeter than I remember. Every holiday it’s been traditional for my mother and later me to make a chocolate meringue pie and a lemon meringue pie. Last holiday, when I bit into these pies they were so sweet to me that I thought for a moment that I had accidentally doubled the sugar. But to be sure I hadn’t goofed the recipes I tried these recipes again, and they were still too sweet.

Sadly, for tradition, but happily for my health, those pies won’t be part of our holiday celebrations anymore.

If you want to work at improving your food choices and eating habits, here are three things to do:

1. Look for fresh fruit and vegetable choices that seem to be more prevalent with the increase in farmers markets.
2. Watch cooking shows on TV and YouTube to learn how to prepare vegetables and fruits that are new to your family.
3. Check out these sites for tips on food and healthy living==>http://whfoods.org/ and www.sparkpeople.com

There’s no doubt about it : eating right and taking care of your body help promote happiness.

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pajamasshanghai fr boingboing.net

A happy person is not one who never feels sad, disappointed and sometimes downright mad. A happy person acknowledges these real feelings when they show up, but doesn’t let them linger long. If you accept that what we dwell on expands, then you want to let go of those negative feelings as soon as you catch them invading your space.

So, when you feel down, what do you do?

Some meditate, do yoga, walk in nature, or whistle a happy tune. Research has shown that watching comedies, laughing and dancing all help not only lighten moods, but also strengthen the immune system’s ability to fight disease.

Me?

I wear happy pajamas to lift my mood. Happy pajamas–that’s what I call my themed pajamas.

No matter what has tried to reach my inner joy, at the end of the day my happy pajamas lift my spirits and return me to peace. (Of course if you watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent after you put on your happy pajamas, your joy is in danger again. But I digress.)

I love message pajamas: High Maintenance, Relax (a very comfortable sleeping cat,) One of a Kind, Use Your Head.

I also enjoy animal print, particularly leopard and giraffe.

There are occasions when I feel like donning my Paris-themed, frogs, or dreamy clouds pjs, and even a few solid colors. I have one no-nonsense pair of gray pjs that I bought in the men’s dept. I feel like Kathryn Hepburn when I wear those.

In case you were thinking this is a crazy idea at all, check this out. Folks in Shanghai have been wearing themed pajamas in public for years because they are just so darn comfortable. But with the World Expo 2010 approaching, officials want to crack down on this practice.

If you can figure out a strategy that successfully lifts your mood, you can get pull yourself out of the doldrums before you get too comfortable there.

What lifts your mood?

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from the rear by carrier on flickr

We have had plenty examples of public figures lately who mess up in their lives and then back pedal on TV trying to repair their images. We’ve even seen most of them deny any wrongdoing in the face of overwhelming evidence then later come back before the camera to apologize.

While the messes we make in our lives may not mount up to the embarrassment and loss of income of these public figures, we can learn from their poor handling of their mistakes.

You may argue that what a public figure does in his or her private life is none of our business. The truth is that the same visibility that enables them to enjoy fame and riches has a dark side. It exposes them to public view.

Now what can we learn from them about handling mistakes?

1. Mess up, fess up

Of the six things that Proverbs 6:16-19 says the Lord hates, a lying tongue and a heart that devises wicked plans are two things we all tend to hate.

The kinds of deception we’ve observed from public figures recently were uncovered after many years of devising wicked plans and coverup. If this is the case for you, it’s certainly not easy to step forward with the truth. Like the celebrities most of us don’t volunteer the dirt on ourselves unless we can no longer hide it.

Once you are staring in the face of your wrongdoing, lying or deception, your quickest relief will come from openly confessing the wrong deed(s).

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. –Jim Davis

2. Be quick, but not slick

“Lying is done with words and also with silence.” Adrienne Rich

Admit your wrongdoing immediately and speak sincerely. This is no time for a script or trying to twist the blame onto someone else.

3. Stick to the facts, Jack

This is no time for justifications, excuses or long background stories to set the stage for a plea. And please, don’t imply that you were unfaithful because you just wanted to have some fun. Say what you did as objectively and unemotionally as possible.

The more you talk in these situations the more likely you’re going to stray into lying again. Most people don’t want to hear your sob stories, and they will only deepen the pain felt by the people you directly or indirectly wronged.

4. Take the blows, Rose

Confessing your wrongdoing, admitting your lies and asking for forgiveness don’t save you from the consequences of your actions. Once upon confessing to a lie, I remember that losing the trust I built up over years with a loved one was more painful than a physical hurt.

Sure, you should ask for forgiveness, but expect to suffer some consequences as well. Even in small matters, consequences can sting. Then use the experience to prevent future deception, even if avoiding the pain of confession and consequences is your motivation.

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