Color Your Life Happy

“Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.” Japanese proverb

In our culture, we spend an enormous amount of money on doctors, medicine and medical treatment. It’s too bad that many of us haven’t grasped the truth set forth throughout the ages: laughter is the best medicine. If you don’t believe it, treat yourself to a belly-deep, robust laugh and watch how much better you feel. That’s what motivates the members on the video above.

Laughter is more than just a mood enhancer. It actually has health benefits. It can reduce stress, strenthen the immune system, improve your memory and increase your intellectual performance.

Dr. Bernie Siegel says “The simple truth is that happy people generally don’t get sick.”

Dr. Madan Kataria believes so much in the benefits of laughing that he started Laughter Yoga and Laughter Clubs. Dr. Kataria says that laughter is nature’s stressbuster. There are over 6,000 laughter clubs in 60 countries. To learn about his clubs and conferences, visit his website Laughter Yoga.

Need more reasons to laugh? Dr. Annette Goodheart gives more reasons to laugh at her site Teehee.

Need help with getting started? Learn about belly laughs, laughter for relationships and more at Laughter Therapy.

Researchers have studied what happens in the body when we laugh. To learn more about this, check out HolisticOnline.

Ready to live a happier life? Laugh more.

The saying “laughter is the best medicine” has been around a long time, but it’s still true. It’s a serious enough topic to have lead Dr. Melissa B. Wanzer, communications professor at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY to offer a course, “Constructive Uses of Humor.” It’s no surprise that this class fills to capacity.

Wanzer’s students are required to prepare and perform a stand-up routine in front of the class. But they also read through journal articles and interpret factual studies on humor. In one such study they uncovered Southwest Airlines’ strategic effort to create a positive environment for employees and customers by integrating humor into the workplace.

Laughter is not just best for improving our general mood, but also for coping with terminal illness and aging. In her research she learned that humor had tremendous benefits for the patients and health care providers.

While researchers are still debating the physical changes that makes laughter beneficial, they all seem to agree that it’s good for us.

Fortunately, we don’t have to become stand-up comedians to add more humor to our lives. We can find humor in small things around us, or make fun or ourselves.

Because our personalities differ, we vary in what we consider funny. For example, here’s a joke that will bring anywhere from a smile to a belly laugh.
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A young man asked God how long a million years was to him.

God said, “A million years to you is like a single second to me.”

The young man asked God what a million dollars was to him.

God replied, “A million dollars to you is like a single penny to me.”

The young man said, “Could I have one of your pennies?”

God smiled and said, “Certainly, just a second.”

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One thing that seems true about laughter is that it’s contagious. Watch this video that I spotted on Work Happy Now and soon you’ll be laughing too.

What things make you laugh?

There are times when we must say no. No to others, sometimes no to ourselves and definitely no to our children.

In an article on Remodeling This Life ,the author, Emily, insists that we’re doing our kids a favor by saying no.

She recounts the difficulty her mother-in-law has saying “no” to everyone, but especially to her adult children. The result is fully capable and otherwise intelligent people who equate happiness with having enough stuff under the Christmas tree.

The sad part of this scenario is that people who have difficulty saying no to others, deplete themselves of what rightfully belongs to them: possessions and self-worth.

Why do we have trouble saying “NO?”

Some of us fear rejection; others fear how others will view us. Then a few of us want others to believe we have a limitless well of wealth or largesse.

Whatever the case, children who don’t get a healthy mix of “yes” and  ”no” grow up with warped ideas of how the world works and mistaken notions of entitlement.

Here’s how I responded to this topic on Emily’s blog:

Learning to say no to our children and others is not only important to help them to respect boundaries, but to help us learn to be kind to ourselves.

Anyone who depends on someone else’s approval for their own happiness is doomed to a roller coaster existence.

I gave my children and grandchildren more time than money, and as a result they appreciate their earnings and are thoughtful about their spending (even more so than I was at their ages.) I found that money spent on experiences such as trips and music lessons were dollars well-spent.

Things they insisted on having that weren’t in my budget or my consciousness such as Jordache jeans (the popular brand when my oldest was a teen) they had to buy with their own money. To this day, my now-38-year-old daughter confides the tremendous letdown she felt when she spent all of her monetary graduation gifts on that pair of have-to-have jeans.

I admit that I was not as disciplined with spending on my grandchildren as I was with my own children, but they still managed to learn the value of money and be appreciative, especially as they get older.

What’s your take on this? Do you think saying “no” is good for your kids and others?

When I saw this statement on a list of lessons learned by a rookie entrepreneur, it reminded me of a day during my doctoral studies.

 We were on a very tight budget while I took classes and studied to finish my doctorate. We were making a big financial sacrifice when I quit my job to become a full-time graduate student. Fortunately we were able to pay our mortgage and keep our 3 children healthy and fed, but many other things had to wait in line for their turn.

I was driving an old car that I wasn’t sure would start each time I got in it.

One morning that I was scheduled to give surveys to teachers at an inner city junior high school it started pouring down raining. I pulled on my leather boots, darted between raindrops and jumped in the car. It started! Great!

When I arrived at the school I stuffed the stack of surveys under my raincoat to keep them dry, grabbed my purse and equipment I needed for the testing and rushed toward the building.  Just before I reached the door I stepped into a puddle of water. When I pulled my dripping foot from the puddle I discovered the heel of my right boot was broken off.

In order not to be late for my appointment, I limped down the hall and made it to our meeting on time.  With damp clothes, broken shoe and dampened spirit, I proceeded as professionally as possible.

Boy! That morning sucked big time.

I share this story because sometimes in the process of promoting positive thinking, encouraging inner joy and sharing tips for happiness people get the wrong impression.  Folks wrongly believe there is some way to master the art of creating perfect days. Not!

• Some days are going to suck.
• One day your head will be the perfect landing for bird droppings.
• You will lose your keys.
• Your child will lie to you.
• Someone will lie about you.

And on and on.

Being happy and claiming your inner joy is not about preventing these bad things from happening. We have absolutely no control over the weather or what others do, just on how we react.

How do we get past these sucky days then?

• Be grateful for what did go right. (My old car got me to and from my research appointment.)
• Choose how you react. (I eventually laughed at my rainy day adventure)
• Cry if you want. (Tears are Nature’s cleansing treatment.)
• Make note of what you learned. (Don’t wear leather boots in the drenching rain.)

A number of decades have passed since this event. Wouldn’t it be a shame if I had let singular event steal my joy and color my life sad?

What bad days have you survived by taking control of your reactions? Share your story.

As I stepped out of my front door for my morning walk, another walker passed by and commented, “It’s really sticky out here today.”

I find it amazing that a stranger seems comfortable opening a conversation with a negative rather than with a positive comment like ”Isn’t this a beautiful day?”

Why this is true I’m not sure.  

But I am sure that the doom and gloom over high gas prices, the downturn in the economic, foreclosures, etc. picks up volume around the water cooler, gas pump and wherever people gather.  We jump into the negative fray commiserating over this or that as if to confirm that we’re part of this miserable club.

If this attention to all the negative brought about positive changes I would recommend it. On the contrary, wallowing in the doom and gloom has some dangerous outcomes.

1. It distracts from many other important things that are going on in the world like world hunger, disease, mankind’s inhumanity to man.  It’s a common magic technique to keep you busy looking in one direction while they set up the trick in the other.
2. It blinds us to the positive possibilities. Even people who are blessed with wonderful opportunities around them miss seeing them when they are griping.
3. It saps our energy so we are less able to think of creative solutions.
   The negative energy spent talking up all that is wrong lowers our energy level thus making us less able to engage our brains in a positive way.
4. It fuels individual and group hopelessness. Even those of us were are normally hopeful can become infected and be brought down if we give this virus access to us.
5. It promotes the wrong idea that we have no choices or control over our lives.
   In any compeition, game or war the other side counts on this to help them win.

Instead of getting caught up in the woe-is-me trap, check out what Pamela Slim, in her blog Escape from Cubicle Nation , offers as some great ways that businesses can turn that energy to positive moves. In my comment on her blog I added information about what this means to us personally as well.

I learned about Pamela’s blog from Jonathan Field’s post, Every Minute Spent Complaining is a Minute Lost Solving

Chime in with your opinion on complaining.

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a month — get married. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
- Chinese Proverb

According to this Chinese proverb lasting happiness comes from helping someone else.  If you are interested in lifelong happiness here are some ways to help others:

Clean out your closet and donate to a local charity.In my neighborhood we get requests from charities frequently. They leave a plastic bag for your donations listing the type of items they need.  I donate my casual clothes to the majority of the charities.

My suits and professional clothes can be used by charities helping women who are trying to get back on their feet such as DressforSuccess.org.

Donate time to help serve the homeless, senior citizens, or others in your community.

There are many opportunities in my town, especially around the holidays. But these charities also need help year round. To help with their year-round needs, respond to their appeals for financial donations throughout the year.

Some ways to help others:

• volunteer at hospitals hugging ill or abandoned newborns
• take volunteer vacations
• help build homes for low-income or survivors of catastrophes
• or find another volunteer opportunity at Volunteer Match

Donate money to charities that allow you to pick the recipients.     

• Modest Needs  helps stop the cycle of poverty before it starts for low-income people
• Donors Choose  allows you donate to the proposal of your choice submitted by a teacher
    

These are, of course, just a few of the unlimited chances to help others.  A search on your computer or in your community will yield many more from which you may choose.  Get started on your lifetime of happiness by helping someone else.

Of the many blogs I read daily, one recently stood out. 

Amy Palko, while researching for her thesis on Stephen King, discovered that there are great lessons writers can learn from Stephen King.  Although the lessons she lists are directed at writers, they can apply to all of our lives as well.

As a guest blogger on Write to Done, Amy shared some of the following examples of Stephen King’s bravery and willingness to tackle challenges

He has refused to stay true to his typecast, and has frequently published work which doesn’t belong to the genre he became famous for.

He stands up to the literary establishment and demands that his writing is taken seriously.

He experiments with new media.

He will try his hand at just about any kind of fiction: short stories, serial novels, comic books, screenplays, e-novels.

He offers his work up to others for their own creative interpretation.

As Amy points out in her article, Stephen King may be known for writing that strikes fear in his readers, but he is fearless.

I’d like to add to Amy’s observations. 

Stephen King is also generous. He was one of the first authors to make his work available free on the Internet. He also sends free copies to military personnel who request them.

Once someone achieves fame and fortune, the public seems to think it happened magically or overnight. There is nothing mysterious or scary about King’s path to success. He wrote in all his spare time while he worked as an industrial laborer and later as an English teacher. He passionately pursued his writing in spite of rejection and uncertainty.

King’s self-assurance and integrity he stays true to what he believes is right, even if it means refusing the riches folks may dangle in front of him.

It seems to me that we can learn a lot from King.  Even if he had never become a highly paid, respected and famous author, Stephen would still be passionately turning out compelling stories and novels.