Color Your Life Happy

[This article was inspired by a post on Liz Strauss' blog.]

I feel as scared as the next person when stepping outside my comfort zone.

What will happen? I could fail. I could lose everything. I could get hurt.

True.

But I have a news flash for you.

Your comfort zone is not all that safe.

Horrors, failures and disappointments can find you wherever you are so why not have fun and enjoy your life along the way.

Something surprising happens when you step outside your comfort zone. Your old familiar zone widens, your world expands, self-satisfaction increases and your inner joy blooms.

But that’s not all.

Stepping outside your comfort zone not only is the path to growth and success, but prevents stagnation and boredom.

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to do something but were afraid. We all are at first.

My advice?

1. Do what Susan Jeffers outlines in her book Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway (r) . Don’t expect to wake up one morning and be unafraid. That’s not likely to happen. Take the first step.

As I was writing this article my daughter invited meto  go walking with her. I love taking the metaphorical paths less travelled, but not so much the actual ones. Who knows what wild thing is lurking in all that overgrowth on bordering the trail!

But while writing an article on stepping outside your comfort zone, I could hardly ignore my own advice. So away we went.

We were the only humans on the trail this morning, but lizards, rabbits and butterflies welcomed us. The fragrance of the many varieties of trees and plants was exhilirating. Gratitude washed over me for being physically able, healthy and free to take this walk. My body and consciousness thanked me.

2. Hang out with people who are doing what you like to do. Want to travel, but not alone? Join a travel group or take a group tour.

Last year I attended a seminar on leading a fulfilled life facilitated by Barbara Sher, author of Refuse to Choose.  It was held in Italy. Since I hadn’t been to Italy I decided to achieve two goals at once.

Barbara could have set her seminar anywhere in the world, but enjoying the activities in the courtyard of a centuries old Masseria elevated the experience. A few of the attendees were from Europe, but most were from the USA, mostly CA, my home state. I gained a new batch of friends all on the same path of leading fulfilling lives. We’re planning a reunion.

3. Sample first. You think you want to open a nonprofit organization? Volunteer to work in one first. You’ll learn a lot about the inner workings, and can see the operation in a different light. After getting a taste of it, you may discover that you don’t like it after all.

4. Start reading about your interest. Learn all you can from books, articles and the Internet. The benefits are tremendous. You will learn the vocabulary of the field and discover a wealth of sources to consult.

5. Join an organization or trade association. If more than two people in the world are doing it, there’s probably an organization, convention and t-shirt. Check out groups in your interest and geographic area on www.meetup.com

6. Take baby steps. See more about that here.

Life-enhancing ideas often pop up in unlikely places.

This occurred to me while watching the movie “The Ball” one of the short films chosen to be shown on Pangea Day. In the film, thousands of children in Mozambique found a way to use a product that clearly was not the manufacturer’s intent. Business people like to call this repurposing, but for these children it’s just a practical way to reach their goal.

As children, many of us found ways to create fun play time with simple items and techniques just like the children in the movie.  As we grew up, however, we often opted for not-as-good, but ready-to-go alternatives.

Those of us living in cities and towns with easy access to a multitude of products and services often trade money for saving time and enjoying convenience.  The more money we have the more we trade. In the process of easy fixes, perhaps we lose something. (Read my contradition here.)

People with limited means and/or access are forced to be resourceful and clever, but perhaps in the end are happier with their simpler more straightforward lives.

Enjoy this cute movie. Then think of resourceful, low-cost, clever ways to reach your goals and enjoy a simpler, happier life.

The Internet is loaded with wonderful articles, stories and tips for improving your life. I’ve gathered a few links to give you a shortcut to the inspiration from other authors and bloggers.

Times Change–A Short Story on Looking to the Future 
Cameron explores how we look at music and other things differently in retrospect.

20 Questions You Need to Ask Your Surgeon Before You or Your Loved Ones Have Surgery 
Millions of Americans have surgery every year and most of it is elective. You will not only want to read this, but also pass it to your friends and loved ones.

Stop Using the Rewind Button and Visualize What You Want
When you start making changes in your life whether for good or bad, your subconscious will kick into survival mode. Find out what to do.

Who Wants to be Rich?
What do you think is at the top of the list of what most people want?

Ghandi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World
Guess what you have to change first in order to change the world

14 Reasons to Become More Conscious
Going beyond spiritual issues, these tips are about enhancing your daily life.

4 Reasons You Should Meditate and How to Get Started
Once you grasp how meditation positively affects your life, you won’t have trouble getting started.

How Your Income Grows as Your Personal Development Grows
Discover how income and personal development are related.

 Why Your Loved Ones Want You to Fail
You’ll be surprised at some of these reasons.

Six Steps to Become Assertive and Nice
Yes, you can do both at once.

Jonathan Field’s Best of the Web Roundup
For more inspiration and entertainment, check out the 20+ links Jonathan has rounded up

Living life more happily is a goal I share with many. Even though we sometimes let our efforts get thwarted by people and things, making this goal a priority will keep us on the right path most of the time.

You can find many volumes written about how to live a better life, more happily and purposefully. The words of wisdom I trust most, however,  are profound in their simplicity and based on the struggles and overcomings of the writer.

  Shanel Yang, Easy Steps to Success, is a site that offers refreshingly unencumbered guidelines, tips and inspiration for achieving happiness and success.

Shanel Yang is a South Korean woman who came to the US at an early age and had to grow up fast in order to help her parents find their way and make a home in a new land. She rose to the task and learned many important life lessons along the way.

She believes that you can be happy if you are successful with people, work, money. Because you also need good communication skills and knowledge of your rights,  she also adds English and law to this list. (By the way, she graduated from UCLA Law School and practiced law for 10 years in Los Angeles.)

Her articles and blogs dating back to Oct. 2007 are loaded with great information, tips and advice. You will gain much insight and inspiration from Shanel’s website and blog. To get started, check out her four quick tips for happiness.

“A slow death comes for those who don’t revolt when they’re unhappy in their work or in love. Who don’t risk the certain for the uncertain in order to follow a dream. Who don’t allow themselves, at least once in their life, to disregard sensible advice.” –Pablo Neruda

Taking sensible advice is what most of us were raised to do.

• Finish your dinner
• Get a good job
• Don’t talk to strangers
• Be satisfied
• Don’t travel abroad, it’s not safe

Although good advice is well-intentioned, following it does not always lead to personal happiness.

• Finishing your dinner can lead to overeating, heartburn and obesity.
• Getting a good job that bores and stresses does not build character, just more upset.
• As for strangers, isn’t everyone except your mother a stranger until you meet them?
• Being satisfied would bring an abrupt halt to invention.
• It’s not safe to get on the freeway either, but we must do it to get where we’re going

When your heart and mind are longing to go in a new direction, disregard sensible advice. It’s not doing what you love that you will later regret.

When the founding fathers announced in the Declaration of Independence that we have the right to the pursuit of happiness, they didn’t really mean ALL of us. But times have changed and now we all are encouraged to pursue happiness, and in some unlikely places.

Coke has bottled it if you can believe their campaigns promising happiness in a bottle. They have spent huge sums on commercials, billboards and celebrities to convince us that sharing a Coke is the same as saying hello.

Harvard University is teaching it in their most popular course on campus, Psychology 1504, “Positive Psychology.” Twice a week about 900 students flock to Tal Ben-Shahar’s class to gain insight into the secret to happiness. He bases his course on research from the new field of positive psychology which focuses on what makes people happy.
Take a look at Ben-Shahar’s tips to achieve happiness.

You know, of course, that you don’t have to drink a Coke or take a class to be happy. In the photo above I’m savoring a break from work to have lunch with my friend Melissa. Having lunch with friends always makes me happy.

So what are you waiting for? Pursue happiness.

There are those who pretend they are too weak or incapable of doing things or don’t have the money in order to manipulate you into taking care of their responsibilities. One coworker, for example,  never seemed to have money when a group of us wanted to go out to lunch. In the beginning we would take turns picking up her tab. Once we figured our her game we kindly told her we’d love to have her join us whenever she could. And off we’d go without her.

Those who want you to abuse them often push your buttons hoping you will react by attacking. When you don’t respond as they hope they may try harder. Eventually they may ask “What’s wrong with you?” This is a signal that you’re no longer playing their game.

Then there are the people who get pleasure out of controlling others with tactics ranging from deception to humiliation to threats to outright physcial violence. The moment you discover you’re in the company of one of these toxic people run for your life because that’s exactly what’s at stake, your life. Even if you love this person, for your safety you must love them from afar.

You deserve happiness. If you’re reading this, you already know that deep down. What you’re looking for is within. Don’t let anyone block you from experiencing the joy and happiness that is yours.