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Am I Too Picky?
By Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D. | February 6, 2008
I’m tired of other women telling me I’m too picky when it comes to men. It’s time for me to respond.
Women who are in relationships (usually unhappy ones) are always concerned that I’ve been a widow for decades and have not remarried. Never mind that I have some wonderful friends and I’m enjoying my life.
Because I’m not in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean I’m doomed. I look forward to being in a mutually loving relationship one day. For now I’m enjoying being single.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I enjoy my own company. Ironically, the loneliest people I know are married. Now that’s scary!
To the women who say ”You’ll never find anyone. You’re too picky.” here’s what I have to say:
I’m not picky. You’re not picky enough! You need to raise the bar.
Why are you settling for men who
- don’t love and adore you?
- are married to other people?
- are emotionally unavailable?
- insist that you dress down while they dress like GQ?
- don’t keep their word?
- cheat on you?
- can’t commit?
- don’t have a job?
- have children with other women while you’re married to him?
- don’t pay their child support?
- hang out with their buddies but doesn’t take you out?
- won’t have sex with you because you’ve gained weight?
- blame you for what’s wrong in the relationship?
- resents you spending time with your friends?
- aren’t even fun to be with?
Furthermore ladies, why do you
- select your kitchen curtains more thoughtfully than you select a man?
- let your man abuse you physically, psychologically and/or emotionally?
- make excuses for his misuse and abuse of you?
- struggle financially because he doesn’t bring his money home?
- sit by the phone waiting for a call that never comes?
- settle for less than you deserve?
Touch a nerve? Good. Listen to that knot inside your stomach and start making changes in your own life.
OK. Your turn to talk.
Topics: Life choices, Romantic relationships, Troubled relationships |