Color Your Life Happy

“Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.” Japanese proverb

In our culture, we spend an enormous amount of money on doctors, medicine and medical treatment. It’s too bad that many of us haven’t grasped the truth set forth throughout the ages: laughter is the best medicine. If you don’t believe it, treat yourself to a belly-deep, robust laugh and watch how much better you feel. That’s what motivates the members on the video above.

Laughter is more than just a mood enhancer. It actually has health benefits. It can reduce stress, strenthen the immune system, improve your memory and increase your intellectual performance.

Dr. Bernie Siegel says “The simple truth is that happy people generally don’t get sick.”

Dr. Madan Kataria believes so much in the benefits of laughing that he started Laughter Yoga and Laughter Clubs. Dr. Kataria says that laughter is nature’s stressbuster. There are over 6,000 laughter clubs in 60 countries. To learn about his clubs and conferences, visit his website Laughter Yoga.

Need more reasons to laugh? Dr. Annette Goodheart gives more reasons to laugh at her site Teehee.

Need help with getting started? Learn about belly laughs, laughter for relationships and more at Laughter Therapy.

Researchers have studied what happens in the body when we laugh. To learn more about this, check out HolisticOnline.

Ready to live a happier life? Laugh more.

The saying “laughter is the best medicine” has been around a long time, but it’s still true. It’s a serious enough topic to have lead Dr. Melissa B. Wanzer, communications professor at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY to offer a course, “Constructive Uses of Humor.” It’s no surprise that this class fills to capacity.

Wanzer’s students are required to prepare and perform a stand-up routine in front of the class. But they also read through journal articles and interpret factual studies on humor. In one such study they uncovered Southwest Airlines’ strategic effort to create a positive environment for employees and customers by integrating humor into the workplace.

Laughter is not just best for improving our general mood, but also for coping with terminal illness and aging. In her research she learned that humor had tremendous benefits for the patients and health care providers.

While researchers are still debating the physical changes that makes laughter beneficial, they all seem to agree that it’s good for us.

Fortunately, we don’t have to become stand-up comedians to add more humor to our lives. We can find humor in small things around us, or make fun or ourselves.

Because our personalities differ, we vary in what we consider funny. For example, here’s a joke that will bring anywhere from a smile to a belly laugh.
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A young man asked God how long a million years was to him.

God said, “A million years to you is like a single second to me.”

The young man asked God what a million dollars was to him.

God replied, “A million dollars to you is like a single penny to me.”

The young man said, “Could I have one of your pennies?”

God smiled and said, “Certainly, just a second.”

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One thing that seems true about laughter is that it’s contagious. Watch this video that I spotted on Work Happy Now and soon you’ll be laughing too.

What things make you laugh?

Canadian-born journalist Carl Honore best known for his advocacy of the Slow Movement says that our hurry through life diminishes the quality of our lives.

Listen to his talk below and decide if you agree.

Graphic designer, Stefano Sagmeister, finds happiness in design.

Listen to his story. Then tell us what makes you happy.

At some point, personal or world events cause us to get angry.

A research study on anger conducted with a group of UCLA students showed that increasing anger increases our blood pressure. In spite of this, the researchers concluded that

People who respond to stressful situations with short-term anger or indignation have a sense of control and optimism that lacks in those who respond with fear.

 The study failed to give tips on how to handle this short-termed anger. Here are some that have worked for me:

1. Agree to be angry for a limited time.
   

   My office mate and I shared close quarters so we agreed many years ago that only one of us could be pissed at a time. Whoever stomped into the office upset first got to vent. The other had to hold off until the next day (if we even remembered it for a whole day.)  It worked for our entire career together.

2. Write a letter to the offending party.
   

   My favorite is to send a letter to the editor, the college president or whoever needs to hear my take on the subject.  

3. Express your upset as calmly as possible to the upsetting party.

I returned from maternity leave to my university teaching position one semester. I soon learned that from my substitute that one of my colleagues had been snooping around my classroom and harassing my substitute to find out what grades and assignments the students we shared were receiving in my class. 

The snooping teacher  was convinced that if some of the same students who were passing my class and failing hers, I must be too laxed, incompetent or both.

Her behavior was particularly upsetting since I’m known for being accessible and very open to my colleagues and students. 

Besides I had been on the faculty for two years before this event.  If this had just come up while I was on leave, she could have called me. Why hadn’t she approached me directly to discuss our classes?

Gr-r-r!

I could not relax until I had a conversation with this offending teacher. It started off very calmly, but I’m afraid it did escalate to a higher volume than I had planned since her excuses were more pathetic than her behavior.

When it was over I felt good because it was out in the open and I didn’t need to waste any brain cells nursing the hurt or regretting that I didn’t deal with it.

   4.  Pick your battles. When I notice someone trying to rush to beat me to the grocery line or cut me off in traffic, I let them go first. (OK OK, most of the time.) I long ago discovered that decathalons aren’t held in grocery stores or on the freeway.

   5.  Don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can, find humor in the situation, then laugh at yourself and get over it.

Once in an effort to diffuse an argument my among our children, my normally calm husband shouted in exasperation “Control your temper!”The irony of the situation was so funny that we all broke out in laughter. We still laugh at it many decades later.

For all our efforts at maintaining happiness, anger will happen. It is part of human responses and like fear has its place in our repertoire of feelings. Rather than be caught off guard or react in destructive or nonproductive ways, discover what responses to anger work best for you.

Making exercise, relaxation techniques and quieting activities part of your routine goes a long way in helping you handle anger in a healthy way.

You definitely don’t want to suppress anger or leave it unexpressed. Either of these can cause long-lasting physical and psychological damage. A person who never allows themselves to feel or express anger is a ticking bomb bound to blow up over something unrelated to the original anger-producing event.

If you realize that you get angry frequently over many things, or feel that the world is against you, it’s time to seek professional anger management help. You’ll do yourself good, and your loved ones and friends will thank you.

What about you? How do you handle anger? Is anger management a problem for you? What are you doing about it?

There are times when we must say no. No to others, sometimes no to ourselves and definitely no to our children.

In an article on Remodeling This Life ,the author, Emily, insists that we’re doing our kids a favor by saying no.

She recounts the difficulty her mother-in-law has saying “no” to everyone, but especially to her adult children. The result is fully capable and otherwise intelligent people who equate happiness with having enough stuff under the Christmas tree.

The sad part of this scenario is that people who have difficulty saying no to others, deplete themselves of what rightfully belongs to them: possessions and self-worth.

Why do we have trouble saying “NO?”

Some of us fear rejection; others fear how others will view us. Then a few of us want others to believe we have a limitless well of wealth or largesse.

Whatever the case, children who don’t get a healthy mix of “yes” and  ”no” grow up with warped ideas of how the world works and mistaken notions of entitlement.

Here’s how I responded to this topic on Emily’s blog:

Learning to say no to our children and others is not only important to help them to respect boundaries, but to help us learn to be kind to ourselves.

Anyone who depends on someone else’s approval for their own happiness is doomed to a roller coaster existence.

I gave my children and grandchildren more time than money, and as a result they appreciate their earnings and are thoughtful about their spending (even more so than I was at their ages.) I found that money spent on experiences such as trips and music lessons were dollars well-spent.

Things they insisted on having that weren’t in my budget or my consciousness such as Jordache jeans (the popular brand when my oldest was a teen) they had to buy with their own money. To this day, my now-38-year-old daughter confides the tremendous letdown she felt when she spent all of her monetary graduation gifts on that pair of have-to-have jeans.

I admit that I was not as disciplined with spending on my grandchildren as I was with my own children, but they still managed to learn the value of money and be appreciative, especially as they get older.

What’s your take on this? Do you think saying “no” is good for your kids and others?

I was listening to a friend lament a string of problems when I realized that not one of the things she saw as problems were really critical.

When I asked her to tell me about the good things that were going on in her life she was taken aback.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, let me see, ” I began. “You have a loving husband, you’re doing the work you love, you live in beautiful home, you can afford to travel wherever you want on vacation and you have raised two successful children.”

Not only do we get caught up in recounting our “problems”, but I think we actually enjoy sharing the negative more than rejoicing in the positive.

Where does this come from and how do we learn to embrace happiness?

Some of us think that dwelling on happy thoughts will jinx us.

My sister-in-law thought I was doing just that when each year in my Christmas letter I highlight the positive things that happened during the year.

Then there are some who believe that focusing on happiness is a form of denial.

Many aren’t enjoying our happiness because we have an aversion to it. Many of us were brought up to mistrust happiness and to avoid embracing it for fear it will disappear. Sadly, this makes us more comfortable with the miserable things around us than with all the wonderful things in our lives.

Becoming conscious of our attitude toward happiness and keeping our well-being separate from events around us is the key to embracing happiness.

Do you embrace happiness or fear it?