Archives for September 2010
In her blog yesterday, Being Joy-Being Enough, blogger Joy Tanksley so generously shared about her day. It started off upbeat but took a downward turn when she let a negative comment about her introductory video dampen her spirits and almost ruin her day.
I set out to encourage Joy by leaving a short comment, but as I wrote, an article spilled out. From Joy’s experience I got reaffirmation of the importance of going through painful feelings rather than trying to go around them, so I’m sharing the full comment I left on her blog.
I applaud you for sharing your feelings with us because we all struggle with dips in mood and confidence when we receive outside criticism. The saddest part is that it works to unearth our self-criticism often harking back to past memories such as you mention about your cheerleader days.
When we share your story it helps us get in better touch with ours.
You were so wise to have stayed with your painful feelings by crying, reflecting and analyzing. We are often too quick to stuff our pain and cover it over with temporary feel-good. Look at how it empowered you and now your readers for you to have “gone through” rather than “gone around”.
I love your spirit and energy, and especially am happy that you decided to bypass perfection and take positive action instead. The best part about blogging is the opportunity it gives us to share our magnificence with the world without having to convince an executive board or creative team that we are worthy. Many people are waiting to hear the uplifting message that you and other life coaches share. You are helping to heal and empower the world in a way that’s never been possible in history until now.
The harsh criticism from this troubled stranger hurt at first because you’re human, but look at the lesson that you learned from it that you now share with us who need to hear it also. Anyone and anything that tries to convince us that we are not ok, that we’re not enough is lying. We each came to the world to share a special gift. Like each lily in the field we are different, but beautiful and powerful in our own way.
I’m guilty of starting my day on a high sometimes, and then letting someone’s off comment or my own self-criticism dampen my spirits and send me spiraling into ugly guilt or shame. Because I grew up with such strong insistence from my parents and elders that I be a “big girl” and “toughen things out”, it’s not easy for me to cry. When I do, however, I benefit tremendously. I think of tears as windshield washer that clears the windows of our soul, enabling us to see what was blocked by layers of muck.
Of course your video is perfect for connecting with your clients, not everyone in the world, but your rightful and perfect-for-you clients.
Keep dancing and being joyful and helping us do the same. It is your mission. Thank you for accepting it.
I hope you now agree that going through painful feelings when they crop up (and they will,) is better than trying to go around them. After all, when we go through there is a clearing on the other side full of hope, joy and renewed energy.